It’s a bit of a cliché that couples who separate end up arguing about who gets to keep the pet(s), the favourite sofa or the music collection. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Try and agree as much as you can with your ex-partner – and be prepared to compromise.
- Dividing personal possessions
- Agreeing who keeps the car
- Sorting out jewellery, paintings and collectibles
- Agreeing who keeps your pets
Dividing personal possessions
It’s likely that one or both of you have a significant emotional attachment to your possessions, such as your:
- Music collection, or
- Shared family car
It might be hard if you can’t keep things that you believe you’re entitled to, but try and reach an agreement, if you can. Use mediation if necessary.
When thinking about furniture and cars, start by working out where you both will live after you separate.
Will you both need to furnish new properties? If so, dividing the furniture and big appliances so that you each keep some or buy some new ones can be a fair approach.
Go through the house, the garden shed and the garage and attic, and prepare a list of what’s there.
Then try to agree who gets as many of the items as you can.
There might be some things you can’t agree on. As a last resort, you could pick alternately from a list of what is left.
Dividing possessions if you’ve been cohabiting
If you’re dividing items you’ve bought while you’ve been together and you can’t agree who should get what, it’s useful to know what the law says.
In general terms:
- The person who bought the item owns it.
- If you have been given something as a present, you’re able to keep it.
- If you bought something between you, you own it between you – if one of you paid more towards it than the other, it would be assumed you’d divide it like that (which would mean, in practice, that one would buy the other out).
Agreeing who keeps the car
One of you could keep the family car, perhaps because of work commitments, in exchange for giving up other household possessions.
But consider if you have an outstanding loan on the car and who will be responsible for making repayments.
Sorting out jewellery, paintings and collectibles
It might be worth getting an expert valuation if you have a joint collection of valuables, such as:
- Paintings, or
You are likely to have to pay for this service.
If you’re divorcing or dissolving your civil partnership, rather than separating as cohabiting partners, such collections could be taken into account as part of the ‘pot’ of assets to be divided, unless they are of very low value.
It is much better if you and your husband, wife or civil partner can agree how this should be divided.
Agreeing who keeps your pets
It’s best if you and your ex-partner can agree who should keep any family pets.
Try and put the welfare of your pet first.
You may feel that it should be with you, but that might not be the best solution.
- If you have children and they are attached to your pet, it might make sense to arrange things so they can see it as much as possible. Wherever possible, try not to separate children and pets.
- Don’t forget to work out whether you will be able to afford to keep the pet after you split up. Pets can be costly. It’s not only the cost of food that you have to budget for, but vet’s bills, which can be expensive unless you have pet insurance.
- Pets take time to look after. Make sure whoever plans to take it on will have time to exercise it and – if you’re moving – that your new home will be suitable.
What the courts would do about your pets
If you and your ex-partner are getting divorced or dissolving your civil partnership, and you can’t agree what should happen to your pets, you could ask the court to decide who should keep them.
It’s not something the courts generally like to spend time deciding and you’d find your pets would be treated like any other financial asset.
That means that the court could order that the pet:
- Splits its time between both owners
- Should be looked after by one or other of you
Courts don’t have to take the welfare of the pet into account.
That means that, even if the pet could find it stressful to be moved to a new home, the court might still order this.
Your next step
This article is provided by the Money Advice Service.