Solving problems if family members are helping you

Money Advice Service

When a family member is managing your money for you, or for another family member, concerns can crop up. Often the problems can be easily sorted out. If you think something’s wrong, you should check whether your concerns are valid and get expert advice on your next steps.

Check your concerns are valid

Money mismanagement is a very real problem and you’re right to take your concerns seriously.

On the other hand, a lot of worries are based on simple misunderstandings.

By approaching things calmly you might be able to put your mind at rest without anyone getting hurt.

Tread carefully

Don’t make accusations – just ask for an explanation. That way nobody gets hurt by misunderstandings.

There might be a very good reason for an unexplained payment so your first step is to ask for an explanation of the payment you’re worried about.

The conversation will be calmer if you don’t phrase it as an accusation. Instead, ask: ‘I was just wondering what this was for…’

That might be all you need to do to sort out the problem. But if you’re not comfortable with the answer you get, don’t feel guilty about taking things further.

Get expert advice

If you’re still worried after you’ve spoken to the family member managing the money, it’s a very good idea to get some expert advice. You can:

  • Talk to your local Citizens Advice Bureau for free, confidential, independent advice.
  • Ask a solicitor – if you’ve already been using one to make arrangements, they will be familiar with the situation and might be able to offer informal advice. You might have to pay for this, so always ask in advance and check you’re happy with the rates.

Find a solicitor in:

Take action if necessary

If you think someone is in immediate danger (either their money is being stolen or they’re at risk of physical harm) you should phone the police straight away.

Similarly, you might consider someone is being coerced into allowing their money or assets to be used in a way that you would not expect.

This could be a form of financial abuse often referred to as coercive control.

If the problem is less urgent, the action you might end up taking depends on the situation.

  • If you disagree about how money is being used, it’s often best to have a clear-headed conversation. A disagreement might be something like whether the money should be spent on home care or day care. If you can’t sort it out between yourselves, try getting professional advice – from doctors or social workers, for example.
  • If it’s an attorney, deputy, guardian or intervener, or controller that you’re worried about, you should let the right authorities know.
  • If you’re worried about a trustee, it might be best to get them removed from the responsibility.
  • If a lot of money has been used in a way that you don’t agree with, you might have to consider taking the person to court. You should bear in mind that it is likely to destroy your relationship with that person, be stressful for both sides and has no guarantees of success for anyone.

The GOV.UK website has information on making a court claim for money.

This article is provided by the Money Advice Service.

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We want you to understand the positives, but also the limitations of using our site. We operate in a journalistic manner and therefore all information, guidance or suggestions provided are intended to be general in nature, and you should not rely on any of the information on the site in connection with the making of any financial decision.

When we set out to build Rest Less Money, we wanted to be a trusted place where you could find helpful information about financial matters affecting the over 50s. As a free to use resource, we try hard to provide the best information we can, but we cannot guarantee that we won’t occasionally make mistakes. So please note that you use the information on our site at your own risk, and we can’t accept liability if things go wrong.

Key things to remember when using Rest Less Money:

We do not offer financial advice – As a journalistic site, it’s important to know that we do not provide financial advice. You should always do your own research before choosing any financial product so that you can be certain it is right for you and your specific circumstances. If you are in any doubt, please seek professional financial advice from a regulated financial advisor.

No Liability – please note that you use the information on Rest Less Money at your own risk and we can’t accept liability for how you choose to use the information given on our site. We will often provide links to content or products and services available on other third-party websites. These are provided purely for your convenience and we cannot be held responsible for any content, or any of the products and services offered on any website that we link to.

 

Accuracy of Information – We try to make sure that all the information provided on Rest Less Money is correct at the time of publishing as we want it to be the most helpful resource possible. Sadly, we are not perfect however, and so we can make no guarantees as to the completeness, accuracy, adequacy or suitability of the information available on the site.
Whilst we work hard to try and provide accurate information, deals and prices can change, so whilst they may be correct at the time of writing, providers may subsequently decide to alter them later – so always double check first.

A final note on the Rest Less Community Forums – always remember that anyone can post their opinion on the Rest Less Community Forums, so it can be very different from our own opinion and may not be factual or well researched. Always be wary of any content posted on the forums and be sure to do your own research and due diligence on anything suggested. 

We hope you find Rest Less Money a useful resource and we would welcome your feedback at [email protected] on how to make it even better. For more information on any of the above you can read our full terms and conditions.

Some important information about Rest Less Money

We want you to understand the positives, but also the limitations of using our site. We operate in a journalistic manner and therefore all information, guidance or suggestions provided are intended to be general in nature, and you should not rely on any of the information on the site in connection with the making of any financial decision.

When we set out to build Rest Less Money, we wanted to be a trusted place where you could find helpful information about financial matters affecting the over 50s. As a free to use resource, we try hard to provide the best information we can, but we cannot guarantee that we won’t occasionally make mistakes. So please note that you use the information on our site at your own risk, and we can’t accept liability if things go wrong.

Key things to remember when using Rest Less Money:

We do not offer financial advice – As a journalistic site, it’s important to know that we do not provide financial advice. You should always do your own research before choosing any financial product so that you can be certain it is right for you and your specific circumstances. If you are in any doubt, please seek professional financial advice from a regulated financial advisor.

No Liability – please note that you use the information on Rest Less Money at your own risk and we can’t accept liability for how you choose to use the information given on our site. We will often provide links to content or products and services available on other third-party websites. These are provided purely for your convenience and we cannot be held responsible for any content, or any of the products and services offered on any website that we link to.

 

Accuracy of Information – We try to make sure that all the information provided on Rest Less Money is correct at the time of publishing as we want it to be the most helpful resource possible. Sadly, we are not perfect however, and so we can make no guarantees as to the completeness, accuracy, adequacy or suitability of the information available on the site.
Whilst we work hard to try and provide accurate information, deals and prices can change, so whilst they may be correct at the time of writing, providers may subsequently decide to alter them later – so always double check first.

A final note on the Rest Less Community Forums – always remember that anyone can post their opinion on the Rest Less Community Forums, so it can be very different from our own opinion and may not be factual or well researched. Always be wary of any content posted on the forums and be sure to do your own research and due diligence on anything suggested. 

We hope you find Rest Less Money a useful resource and we would welcome your feedback at [email protected] on how to make it even better. For more information on any of the above you can read our full terms and conditions.

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