This article was written for Silversurfers, which is now part of Rest Less.
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When it comes to meeting new people and giving activities a try for the first time, it’s natural to feel hesitant. Gut instinct might make you say ‘no thanks’.
However, if the risk was low, the spaces safe, and the welcome warm, would your answer be the same?
This is what the Oddfellows is all about, the national friendly society shares – providing spaces where people can socialise and try new things, but in ways that feel reliable, uncomplicated and reassuring.
For over 200 years, the Oddfellows has helped its members to forge friendships and stay active in their communities.
Each month, the not-for-profit organises and hosts hundreds of in-person and online social events at its 96 UK branches, many with regular dates, such as weekly coffee mornings, lunch clubs and games afternoons, or monthly activities such as day trips and guided walks.
Zoe Channing, who co-ordinates events for the Oddfellows’ Brighouse and Huddersfield Branch, said:
“Oddfellows events aim to offer four things: regularity, so you’ve always got something to look forward to, variety, so you can try new things, reassurance, so you know you’ll be in a friendly, welcoming and safe environment, and affordability, so your budget doesn’t get in the way of enjoying company.”
Dr Andy Cope
Friend of the Oddfellows and happiness expert, Dr Andy Cope, says setting out with greater intent can help combat any unwelcome hesitation. This, he adds, removes opportunities to find excuses to giving things a try.
He said: “Woody Allen was in the right ballpark when he said that 80% of success is showing up, so here’s a counter-intuitive top tip: quit trying!
“The word ‘try’ takes you backwards. Every time you announce (quietly to yourself, or audibly to those around you) ‘I’m going to try to…’ you’re setting yourself up to fail. Lose the word ‘try’, and the sentences come alive with intent: ‘I’m going to… go for more walks’, ‘I’m going to go… to an Oddfellows event.”
Sandra Brooke has been a member of the Oddfellows’ Brighouse and Huddersfield Branch for over 17 years. She said: “Trying a local social group for the first time is nerve-wracking. But that’s because it’s a new experience, not that you can’t do it.”
Sandra Brooke, centre, feels at home with fellow group members and friends Norma, left, and Elaine, right
“The thing is, sometimes you need to step outside of your comfort zone to find the places you can feel totally at ease in, and with people who make you feel relaxed and comfortable.”
Dr Cope added: “We flourish when we’re connected. Being with like-minded people, often those your own age, removes the heavy lifting of explanation. You share reference points, humour, even aches and grumbles. It’s comfortable, like slipping into your favourite chair. That comfort frees you to get on with the good stuff: laughing, dreaming, reminiscing.”
To learn more about Oddfellows meetups and activities in your area, and to receive a free information pack and local events diary, call 0800 028 1810, email [email protected], or visit www.oddfellows.co.uk/activities
