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Being yourself isn’t always easy. Particularly in today’s world, social pressure, comparison, and fear of judgment can tempt us to be something we’re not. But living authentically is important for staying happy. It allows us to connect with others more deeply, improves our ability to chase our goals, and supports overall wellbeing.
However, part and parcel of being ourselves is first understanding and embracing who we are.
Here, we’ll explore seven ways to connect with who you are and find the courage to be your authentic self.
What are the benefits of being yourself?
Most of us will know from personal experience the many benefits of being yourself.
Living authentically can significantly impact how we feel and can affect almost every area of life – from relationships to work and overall wellbeing. We’ll explore this below.
Relationships
Research suggests that people who are themselves form deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Greater levels of trust, intimacy, and mutual respect can strengthen bonds – and we all know how much more relaxing and enjoyable it is when we’re not overthinking how we come across to others. Relationships based on genuine connection, where you can be yourself, are naturally more fulfilling than those based on pretence.
Work
Research has linked the ability to be oneself at work with better job satisfaction, happiness, and overall wellbeing. It’s also been found to help boost motivation, engagement, and productivity.
Overall wellbeing
Research suggests that being yourself may offer significant benefits for overall wellbeing. This includes reduced stress and anxiety, higher self-esteem, increased self-awareness, and better emotional regulation.
Why do we struggle to be ourselves?
We all want to feel free to be ourselves, but most of us know that this can be easier said than done.
Among other things, societal expectations, peer pressure, and personal insecurities can all make us feel as though we need to be something we’re not. Very often, it’s a desire to fit in and a fear of judgement that causes us to mask who we really are. Factors, such as people pleasing, past trauma, and comparison through social media, can play a role, too.
Some people also feel unsure about who they actually are, and there can be various reasons for this. You may have grown up with parents who placed certain expectations on you or been in a relationship with someone who tried to change things about you.
However, while connecting with your true self and living authentically can feel like a long journey, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Taking small steps can be helpful – for example, you could pinpoint aspects of your personality or interests that you feel most able to share with others and start there. Many people find they gain confidence as they slowly reveal more of themselves to the world.
7 ways to be yourself
Learning to be yourself can feel daunting – particularly if you’ve been presenting an alternative version of yourself for a while.
However, there are some simple steps you can take to help grasp a deeper understanding and acceptance of yourself and live more authentically in every area of your life.
We’ll explore some ideas below.
1. Connect with who you are
The first step towards being yourself is understanding who you are. This may sound obvious, but for many people, the line between being yourself and doing things to please others can easily become blurred.
Taking time to reflect on your personal values, beliefs, and interests is a good place to start. For example, you could journal about what matters to you most and why, or carve out some ‘me time’ to engage with activities you enjoy. Check out our article, 10 practices for self-exploration, to learn more.
2. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is an important life skill that can empower us, give us greater control over our lives, and protect us from becoming too stressed or overwhelmed by demands. When it comes to being yourself, this is key.
For example, setting boundaries around the amount of personal time you have to rest and recover is important.
However, most of us know that setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them can be tricky – particularly in such a fast-paced world. Many of us struggle with feeling like we’re letting people down or that we’ll miss out on something. If this is something you struggle with, you might like to read our article: The power of saying no – 8 ways to say no and why it’s important.
3. Take steps to boost your confidence and self-esteem
One of the biggest barriers to being yourself is having low self-esteem, as it can make you more inclined to try to fit in.
For this reason, taking steps to build your confidence can make a huge difference. People who are confident in themselves are more likely to trust their instincts and be authentic, regardless of what others might think.
There are various things you can do to boost your confidence – from establishing a healthy self-care routine to engaging in positive self-talk and learning to be more assertive.
For more ideas, check out our article: 16 ways to improve your confidence and self-esteem.
4. Consider creating a vision board
An effective way to explore, realise, and remind yourself of who you are and what you want to achieve in life is to create a vision board. A vision board is any sort of visual display that includes images, words, and/or quotes that serve as a positive reminder of who you want to be, have, or do in your life.
Among other things, one of the most powerful things about vision boards is that they can help you move from setting goals to actively pursuing them, including the goal of being yourself.
Check out our guide to creating an inspiring vision board to get started.
5. Embrace your strengths and weaknesses
Learning to embrace your strengths and your weaknesses is key to being yourself. We may feel inclined to hide our weak spots, but the truth is, we all have them. Learning to embrace and accept them can provide an exciting opportunity for growth.
6. Practise gratitude
Gratitude is a key life skill that’s been linked to various benefits, including stronger relationships, better sleep, high self-worth, and resilience.
When it comes to being yourself, practising gratitude can be helpful because it encourages you to feel more content with who you are and what you have, rather than comparing yourself to others.
To get started, check out our article: How practising gratitude can lead to a happier life.
7. Surround yourself with supportive people
Supportive relationships can offer a ‘safe space’ where we feel valued, respected, and understood, giving us the courage to be ourselves.
Having a strong support network can also help serve as a buffer against life’s challenges, often overturning the impact of other areas of life where we may feel less able to be authentic.
If you’re looking to build meaningful connections, you might be interested in our articles: 12 ways to make new friends and 9 different ways to meet new people.
Final thoughts...
From improved relationships to better work prospects and overall wellbeing, being yourself has many benefits. And while overcoming obstacles like peer pressure and low self-esteem can feel difficult, the good news is that there are many simple ways to build up the courage to be yourself.
The most important thing to remember is that understanding yourself is often a lifelong endeavour, so don’t forget to enjoy the journey.
For further reading, head over to our healthy mind section. Here, you’ll find information on everything from boosting motivation to conquering self-limiting beliefs and finding inner peace.
Do you have any other tips for having the courage to be yourself that you’d like to share? We’d be interested to hear from you in the comments below.
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