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Anyone can feel frisky during the summer. When you’re already half-dressed and dripping with sweat, moving to the bedroom is a logical next step.
But when the weather outside is frightful, sex can be even more delightful. Roaring fires, long slow kisses, furry bedcovers, cinnamon-scented massages…It’s almost like nature gives us long nights for one very good reason. And, of course, sex is also fantastic for our mental and physical health.
So what are the benefits of great winter sex? And how can you have more of it?
The health benefits of winter sex
It might stave off SAD
Sex can have a positive effect on seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Every time you have sex, your brain releases endorphins, which can help to combat the winter blues.
It boosts your immune system
Feeling snuffly? Get snuggly. An American study found students who had the most sex also had the highest levels of salivary immunoglobulin A, a natural germ-fighting antibody.
It combats stress
January can be a depressing month. Blue Monday – the third Monday in January – is thought to be the most miserable day of the year. But one surprisingly effective mood booster? Sex. Regular intimacy with your partner can lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and help you navigate the January blues.
How to have great winter sex
Generally, getting in the mood requires a little bit more imagination when it’s cold. So here’s my tantalising to-do list.
1. Cuddle up
As temperatures fall, you might find your libido drops. Research has found that cold temperatures can dramatically affect our sex drives, even reducing the number of naughty thoughts that enter our heads. (And there was me, blaming my annual lack of lust on Christmas Jumper Day.)
If you’d like to crank up your internal thermostat, try to spend more time touching your partner. Hold hands, squeeze into the same armchair, and sit on their lap. The more time you spend in very close contact, the more your body will release oxytocin, the hormone that boosts feelings of affection.
Max heat: Watch TV together, naked, under a heated throw or a heavy blanket. Pressing your bodies together to stay warm could send your temperatures rising all the way to bed. (Ideally, you’d watch something stirring, like Basic Instinct or Bridgerton, but I’ve even had success with this during Bake Off.)
2. Keep your socks on
The warmer your feet are during sex, the more likely you are to achieve orgasm – or so some research has suggested. A study from the University of Groningen found that couples’ chances of orgasm rose from 50% to 80% when they wore socks.
Sceptical? Research by sex-toy brand Lioness found similar results: women wearing socks during masturbation had orgasms lasting 30.34 seconds on average, compared to 24 seconds barefoot.
While these specific findings have been debated and questioned since publication, the underlying principle makes sense: physical comfort matters. If cold feet distract you, keeping them warm could genuinely help you stay relaxed and present.
Max heat: Don’t grab a pair out of the laundry basket. Wear sexy over-the-knee socks, or a pair made from a sensual material like bamboo or silk that you can stroke over your partner’s body during foreplay.
3. Use warming lubes and oils
As money-saving guru Martin Lewis recommends, “Don’t heat the home, heat the human.” Make the other human in your home very hot indeed by slathering them in warming oils and lubes and giving them a massage.
The easiest way to do this is to warm the oil (like olive, almond, coconut, or baby oil) between your hands for 30-60 seconds before applying it. Alternatively, you can place the bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes. Always test the temperature on your wrist first to avoid discomfort.
Then lie your partner down on a towel and massage their back, shoulders, bum, and legs. Use long, slow, sensual strokes, always going towards the heart. Occasionally, let your fingers stray into erogenous areas, like the inner thighs, sides of their breasts, or the bum, but aim for a gradual, teasing build-up.
Max heat: Use self-warming lubricant to turn up the central heating. Warming lubricants contain capsaicin (the hot part of a chilli pepper) to create a warm, tingly sensation on any part of your body. Use them during sex or to heat up your foreplay.
Lovehoney’s Glow Warming Lubricant (100ml, £9.99) and Durex’s Durex Warming Condom Friendly Lubricant (50ml, £9.99) are good options.
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4. Light candles
As well as providing sensual lighting, candles kick out some serious heat. Filling your bedroom with candles is a simple way to make the room inviting, warm, and sexy. (It’s also quite a reliable way to start a house fire, so be mindful where you throw your underwear.) Use tall pillar candles to cast a flattering light, and dot them artfully around the bedroom.
If you’re lucky enough to have access to an open fire, you could skip this step completely and move straight to the hearth. Throw a furry blanket down on the floor and unleash your inner caveman/woman.
Max heat: Consider using scented candles with fragrances that are scientifically shown to increase sex drive, like vanilla, liquorice, lavender, and pumpkin pie.
5. Try hot sex positions
To make hot sex even hotter, try to pick positions that press you up against your other half. Skin-to-skin contact warms you both, and it releases that feel-good oxytocin we mentioned earlier.
Spooning is a great winter warmer. It’s cosy and cuddly and doesn’t require much energy if you’re still digesting a heavy dinner. If you’d like to make it more exciting, use your hands (and some tingly lube), to add manual stimulation.
Missionary is another good position for colder nights. Pressed close together, you can kiss and murmur sweet nothings, and it even works with the duvet right up over your heads. If it feels a bit dull, you can up the ante with a few easy tweaks. Try turning it into The Eagle. The person on the bottom lifts their legs into the air and spreads them wide (to resemble eagle wings), to allow for even deeper penetration.
Or, you can try using a cushion under your bottom to raise your hips. This can make missionary sex more stimulating to your G-spot. It’s also a more comfortable position if you have arthritis or lower back pain.
Max heat: Try Downward Doggy. Probably the sexiest of all the close-contact positions is Downward Doggy Style. This easy move gives you all the deep penetration of doggy style, but with added closeness.
Start in Doggy Style (one person on all fours on the bed, the other kneeling behind them), but then both lie down. The person underneath can then press their thighs together for maximum friction, while the person on top kisses the back of their partner’s neck or reaches underneath to add some extra pressure.
10 more easy ways to raise the heat
- Shower together before you hit the sheets.
- Share a long, hot bath.
- Have sex on the heated seats of your car.
- Discover thermal lingerie. Who knew?
- Make out with all your clothes on, or remove only a few pieces of clothing.
- Have sex on the floor directly in front of a radiator.
- Warm your mouth with coffee or hot chocolate, then give your partner oral sex.
- Conduct your whole day or evening from bed. Together.
- Warm up your sex toys in hot water before use.
- Wear accessories, like long gloves or stockings, during sex.
Final thoughts…
There’s no need to put sex off until the summer – there are plenty of ways to turn up the heat and have fun when it’s cold outside. By cosying up with your partner during the chillier months, you’ll also boost your physical and mental health, and the health of your relationship. Have fun!
For more inspiration, check out our articles: 19 easy ways to spice up your sex life and 5 ways to embrace kinks.
Do you have any other tips for keeping intimacy alive when it’s cold outside? We’d be interested to hear from you in the comments below.
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