First dates can and should be exciting – but, naturally, they can also be a source of anxiety. These feelings often come from worries about getting tongue-tied, not knowing what to talk about, or having to fill awkward silences.
It’s important to remember that we can all find it difficult to think of things to say at times, and your date may well be experiencing these worries, too. Plus, who knows, you might even bond over those clumsy, slightly uncomfortable moments – they’re just a reminder that you’ve not met before and are giving each other a chance.
That said, it’s always worth having a few tricks up your sleeve to help you strike up an easy but meaningful discussion with whoever you’re meeting.
To help, we’ve pulled together a list of eight things to talk about on a first date.
1. Share an experience together
Finding something interesting to talk about can be difficult enough with anyone you’ve just met, let alone someone you’re hoping to impress. So, having a guaranteed conversation starter can help ease any nerves and successfully kickstart your date.
One tried and tested method for this is to go for dinner or a drink after sharing an experience. For example, if you go for dinner after watching a film at the cinema, you’ll have an interesting topic to discuss as soon as you arrive. This can make things feel more comfortable and spark other conversations, too.
Any kind of experience that might prompt an exchange of emotions and opinions afterwards can work, from watching a musical to taking a scenic bike ride.
If you’re looking for some date inspiration, check out our articles: 20 affordable date ideas and 17 unique date ideas.
2. Explore what you already know about each other
It can be easy to slip into panic mode when trying to make conversation on a first date. But there’s a good chance you and your date will have already swapped a few details about yourselves by the time you sit down.
It might seem obvious or unexciting, but there’s no harm in retreading old ground. Maybe your date previously mentioned a hobby, interest, or aspiration. Bringing these up and asking follow-up questions to learn more is an easy way to get talking – and also shows your date that you’re invested in getting to know them.
3. Ask your date about future plans and ambitions
When meeting someone new, it can be easy to spend lots of time exploring their past. For example, “Where did you grow up?” is a popular first-date question. And while these conversations may prove useful for getting to know your date, they can sometimes feel a little uninspired.
Instead of asking about your date’s past, why not try switching it up and asking about future ambitions? Perhaps they’d like to start their own business someday, or move somewhere exotic.
Asking about future plans can lead to interesting conversations and show that you’re interested in their goals. Sharing your own aspirations can also show that you’re passionate, ambitious, and forward-thinking.
Plus, from a practical perspective, these conversations can help you decide whether you’re compatible. For example, if you’d like to travel more in later life, but your date doesn’t, you may not be the best match.
That said, just because two people have different aspirations, it doesn’t mean they can’t build a successful and supportive relationship.
4. Talk about hobbies and interests
Most people love talking about their passions and interests and, in many cases, are waiting for the opportunity to share their enthusiasm with a willing ear.
How we spend our time is one of the most important parts of what makes us unique, and getting to know what excites someone is key to learning more about who they are.
Whether you discover that you share an interest or just enjoy watching your date’s eyes light up when talking about their greatest passion, chatting about what makes each of you tick is a dependable way to spark an engaging conversation.
5. If stuck, look to your environment for inspiration
This is a helpful tip for any conversational lull, but can be especially helpful during nerve-inducing situations like a first date.
If you’re stuck for something to talk about, look around. Finding something to keep up the conversation could be as simple as pointing out a scenic view or a painting on the wall.
Your surroundings may also help to jog your memory about a story or a question you could share. For example, if you’re out for a walk in your local area, you’re bound to pass a place where something heartwarming or amusing happened. Alternatively, if you’re in their area, you could ask questions about what you’re seeing and their experiences of living there.
6. Talk about travel
People love to talk about their most exciting and memorable moments and experiences, especially when first getting to know someone. And, for many people, a lot of these memories come from travelling.
If you’ve been lucky enough to explore the world, or even your local area, you’re bound to have a collection of experiences and memories to share.
If your date is a fellow globetrotter, your travel stories can make for a fun, low-pressure conversation topic, while still allowing you to learn something meaningful about each other’s personalities, interests, and values.
If you’re on the lookout for that next adventure, you’ll find lots of inspiration in our travel section, including unforgettable cruise destinations and inspiring places to visit in the UK. Or, why not browse travel deals below?
7. Address dealbreakers early on
Before anything else, dates are meant to be fun – and the experience of getting to know someone new can be exhilarating. However, it’s still important to address any dealbreakers early on to help avoid disappointment later down the line.
People tend to want casual, low-pressure fun on a first date, which means heavier topics, such as politics or a deep discussion about your previous relationship, are usually best avoided.
But if you know of any specific and important needs you have in a relationship (like being with someone who’s family-oriented or a non-smoker), it’s usually better – for everyone – to communicate this before things get too serious.
That said, try to keep the conversation light at first, and save any more intense topics for a bit later in the date (or a second date) when you’re both more relaxed.
8. Ask about their career
People’s jobs are one of the most important parts of their lives, so it’s natural that careers are a hot topic for people who’ve just met.
If you’re trying to get to know your date, asking them about what they do for a living is a must. After all, it’s difficult to understand someone if you don’t know how they spend most of their time!
Even if your date is retired, you can ask what they did before and how they use their time now. They might have some interesting retirement adventures to share.
However, it’s worth noting that because careers are a common date-night conversation topic, discussions can feel dry or robotic. To avoid mechanical discussions, try to be mindful of your reason for asking in the first place: to get to know your date and show them your genuine interest.
Instead of only asking the predictable questions, listen closely to what they’re saying, ask follow-up questions, and try to relate your own experiences to theirs. They may find going through the motions of explaining what they do tedious. But being asked about their aspirations in life can be more exciting and engaging.
Final thoughts…
All conversations have ups and downs, yet first-date conversations can often feel more awkward than most.
We hope that you’ve found our tips and suggestions helpful. But the most important thing to remember when on a date is to be yourself. Do your best to listen, ask meaningful questions, and above all, appreciate each other’s company. Remember, dates are supposed to be fun!
For more dating advice, check out our other articles: 7 tips for a first virtual date and 12 subtle green flags to look for when dating someone new.
Or, if you’re on the lookout for that special someone, you might like to head over to Rest Less Dating. It’s free to sign up, and you can start searching for a meaningful connection right away.
Have you used any of these conversation starters on a date? Or do you have any suggestions of your own? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
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