As we go through life, it’s easy to forget about some of the important decisions, promises, and other life-altering events that have helped shape us. But taking note of how much we’ve achieved and overcome can help us gain self-awareness, increase feelings of gratitude, and light the way towards future goals and ambitions.
One effective way to do this is to write a letter to your future self about your fears, values, and hopes.
The liberating thing about this is that, like journaling, there are no rules. Your letter can include anything that’s important to you, or that you’d want your future self to remember in one, five, or even 10 years time.
For example, if you’ve recently experienced heartbreak and come out the other side, you could write a letter to your future self to read if it ever happens again; reminding yourself that as devastating as it feels right now, you’ll get through this – because you have before.
Or, perhaps you could include memories of your parents or children that you’d love to remember and treasure later on. Whatever you decide to write about, remember that this letter is yours, and yours alone, so it can take whatever form you’d like.
As with many writing exercises, the trickiest part is often getting started. You might wonder how best to structure your letter, what to write about, or how long it should be.
Here, we’ll outline the benefits of writing a letter to your future self, and give you nine tips to help you on your way.
Why should I write a letter to my future self?
It can help develop deeper self-awareness
Writing a letter to yourself can help you see how you’ve changed in some ways and stayed the same in others which can provide greater self-awareness about your authentic self.
For example, when you open your letter in the future, you might realise that you’ve really grown in confidence, but remain an introvert and gain energy from spending time alone. In the past, you might have linked your introvertedness to feeling as though you need to hide away, but now realise that having ‘me-time’ helps you recharge, before you go back out into the world.
Being able to reflect on who you are as a person can help you create a life you’re proud to lead.
For help with this personal reflection, you might find it useful to read our article: Who am I? 7 tips to figure out who you truly are.
It can reduce aches and pains
Recording what you’re grateful for in life can not only help you feel more positive and boost your mood, but it can also reduce physical aches and pains. So, by spending some time considering what’s most important to you and feeling thankful, you’ll be improving both your mental and physical health.
You can learn more in our article: How practising gratitude can lead to a happier life.
It can help us achieve our goals
We all have goals and ambitions. However, the busyness of daily life can mean that many of our goals get put on hold or even forgotten about.
Writing a letter to your future self can be a helpful way to check in with yourself and make sure you’re still heading in the right direction – or, to take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come.
Putting your ambitions on paper can also motivate you to start taking steps towards them. For help getting started, check out our article: What are the benefits of goal setting tools?
It can store treasured memories
Aside from anything else, taking the time to write a letter to your future self can give you memories to treasure later on. It can be fun, comforting, and nostalgic to look back at old outfits you wore or TV shows you watched, for example.
Reliving past experiences can also help you appreciate the journey you’ve been on.
9 tips for writing a letter to your future self
1. Decide when you’d like your future self to read this letter
Choosing an age or a year you’d like your future self to read your letter can give you a clearer idea about what you hope to have achieved, or where you’d like to be by then. This way, you’ll be able to see whether your goals have been met, or whether you still have work to do to get there.
If you still have work to do, a letter from your past self can act as a powerful motivator. Or, if you’ve achieved your goals by the time you open your letter, this will be an uplifting reminder of what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.
Your letter could be a way to check in with yourself to see whether you’ve stuck to your New Year’s Resolutions, or to see if you’ve stayed true to your core values and beliefs in five years time. If not, this could give you the nudge you need to start making some positive changes.
2. Talk to yourself like you would a good friend
When writing to yourself, it can be helpful to keep it casual and speak to yourself like you would a good friend. This will help your personality to shine through.
Letters to our future selves should be kind, comforting, and help us connect with ourselves on a more intimate level.
3. Summarise what your life is currently like
To allow yourself to see just how much your life has changed since you wrote the letter, it can be a good idea to give a brief outline of who you are currently. What are your interests? Where are you living? What’s your job?
These details will help you form a more complete picture of what your life was like when you wrote the letter – and will help trigger memories when you start reading it again.
4. Explore your fears
You ideally want your letter to be as raw and insightful as possible. This means not holding anything back. Try not to be afraid to use the letter to explore your fears about the present and the future. For example, you might be worried about your job stability or want to meet new people but feel afraid to reach out because you’re concerned that you’ll be rejected or judged.
By working out what scares you most, you can consider what steps you’d like to take to overcome these fears, such as letting go of the things you can’t control or working on your confidence and self-esteem.
Then, when you read your letter in the future, you can see which fears you’ve moved past and reflect on how you did this. This can help you identify and work through new fears that might have taken their place.
5. Set out your goals and ambitions
Your letter is also a good place to set out your hopes and dreams for the future. For example, you might write: “I hope I’ve made a career change and I’m now working with animals” or “I hope that I’ve become fitter and feel more confident in my own skin.”
The idea isn’t to make your future self feel bad if you haven’t achieved these things – it’s to help you reassess whether these goals are still important to you and what you could do to get there.
6. Offer advice
Your past self might be able to offer you advice by reminding you how you’ve dealt with previous situations.
When life becomes difficult, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and feel as though you’re unable to cope or move forward. However, reflecting on past experiences can help remind you that, as you’ve done it before, you can do it again. There’s a lot to be said about older generations passing down wisdom to younger generations, but we can also learn a lot from our past selves.
7. Define your values and beliefs
Our values and beliefs are an integral part of who we are, and it can help to remind your future self of these. For example, outlining your core beliefs around topics like family, relationships, and health can affirm how important these things are to you and make sure you continue to prioritise what’s important in life.
It can also be helpful to write about your career and financial aspirations. This can help you evaluate your financial situation and motivate you to follow through with any career goals.
8. Ask yourself questions
Asking your future self questions encourages you to hold yourself accountable for your own success and happiness, and to perhaps recognise where you may have been neglecting it. This might be because you’re busy tending to others or doing what you think you should do, rather than what you want to do.
Asking the right questions could give you the reality check you need to start making some positive changes in your life. A few examples include…
- Are you happy?
- Do you enjoy your job?
- Are you happy with where you live?
- What are you passionate about?
- What are you most grateful for?
- Am I living a life that’s true to myself?
- Am I taking enough care of my mental and physical health?
9. Store your letter somewhere safe
After you’ve sealed your letter, it’s best to place it somewhere safe where you won’t be tempted to read it before the planned date. Address the envelope to yourself, label it clearly with the open date, and then try to forget about it until then.
If you’re worried you’ll forget to open it, you can mark a date on a calendar or put a note in your diary – along with details of where you’ve hidden it.
Rather than setting a specific date, some people find it more helpful to label their letter with something like ‘Read when you’re going through heartache’ or ‘Read when the kids have left home’.
Alternatively, you could use a website like Future Me to email a free letter to yourself on a date of your choosing. To see some of the anonymous letters that others have sent themselves, you can have a look here.
Once you’ve read your letter, you could always make a plan to write another one. Some people find it helps to write a letter to their future selves every few years.
Final thoughts…
It’s easy to feel unsure about the future, or worry about how you might handle certain situations should they arise. But, writing a letter to your future self can help to remind you how strong, resilient, and capable you are.
It can also help you remain true to yourself and hold yourself accountable for your own happiness. Plus, there’s nothing better than hearing from an old friend – especially one who knows you better than anyone else ever will.
For further reading, head over to the healthy mind and writing sections of our website.
Have you written a letter to your future self? What sort of things did you include? And how long will you wait to open it? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.