The government’s Homes For Ukraine scheme has certainly been controversial. There have been issues matching willing hosts with refugees and concerns about where displaced families will go once their initial six-month tenancies come to an end.
Over 100,000 refugees have been welcomed into the UK so far and, unfortunately, there have been some disheartening stories. Breakdowns in relationships between hosts and guests, struggles with the rapidly rising cost of living, and Ukrainians being bounced around from hotel room to hotel room have all been reported.
These problems can’t be ignored if we’re to provide the best support possible for people whose lives have been upended by the ongoing war. But, here at Rest Less, we’re firm believers in sharing positive news along with addressing the more difficult issues.
Even with all the hurdles that many hosts and refugees have faced under the scheme, there have also been some inspiring success stories; like that of Yvonne, Yuliia, and Andrii.
We caught up with Yvonne to speak about her enriching experience of hosting a Ukrainian couple as a single woman, and why she’d recommended it to others…
“I felt that offering [my home] to people who are suffering in such an awful way was the least I could do”
![I felt that offering [my home] to people who are suffering in such an awful way was the least I could do](https://media.restless.co.uk/uploads/2022/11/i-felt-that-offering-my-home-to-people-who-are-suffering-in-such-an-awful-way-was-the-least-i-could-do.jpg)
Sixty-three-year-old Yvonne Trigg from South Yorkshire is a specialist teacher who works with neurodiverse higher education students. In the past, she’s also volunteered for a disabled charity and, in 2018, she spent some time teaching in Uganda. So she knows a thing or two about helping others.
With her grown-up children having moved out, Yvonne was left with a spare bedroom and bathroom in her house just outside of Sheffield.
“I felt that offering it to people who are suffering in such an awful way was the least I could do,” Yvonne tells us. “So as soon as the scheme was announced, I was following it carefully and signed up as soon as I could.”
Yvonne has had experience opening her homes to people in need before, and she was initially surprised by some aspects of the scheme.
“I suppose, in my experience, anything else like this in the past has been managed by charities. And they’ve acted like bridges between refugees and hosts. So I guess I expected it to go something like that. But for the first number of weeks, my application didn’t really seem to go anywhere.
“There were a lot of concerns about the matching process, which was being done quite informally over Facebook groups.”
Open to welcoming an individual, a couple, or even a mother and child, Yvonne wasn’t picky about who she’d be hosting. So although the process was rocky to begin with, she eventually began to get in touch with refugees over social media. And after talks broke down with one young Ukrainian woman, she was approached by Yuliia and her husband Andrii.
“They’re remarkable! In the midst of all of this, they’re still absolutely determined to make their situation work”
While Yvonne has her doubts about the government’s scheme and how it’s being operated, it seems that, in the end, she couldn’t have been matched with two better people.
Yvonne says, “I’ve been very blessed because I was matched with two lovely individuals. They are both in their 20s and work full-time, remotely. They’d been living in Kyiv in an apartment that they owned. Although their block wasn’t destroyed, they left the city two weeks into the conflict because it was getting dangerously close.”
After leaving Kyiv, Yuliia and Andrii drove 400km west to the city of Lutsk, where both of their families are based. Initially, the young couple thought that their stay would be short and had hopes that they could return home. Although, as the fighting continued, they began to realise that they’d have to make more permanent plans.
Yvonne explains, “Yuliia and Andrii didn’t want to stay in Lutsk indefinitely. They didn’t know how to move their lives forward there and didn’t see how their situation was going to improve in the short term. So they made the decision to try and come to the UK, and after a week or two, they got in touch with me.”
In June, six weeks later, Yvonne picked Yuliia up from the airport. “As she was working from home,” Yvonne says. “She was able to continue her job. Andrii stayed behind for a bit longer because he was waiting to be transferred within his company, which has offices in the UK. But they’ve both kept working remotely and she’s even managed to get a promotion in that time.
“They’re remarkable! In the midst of all of this, they’re still absolutely determined to make their situation work.”
“Yuliia and Andrii are very industrious and absolutely determined that they won’t apply for benefits”
One of the questions that’s been on the minds of hosts and those considering taking part in the scheme is what the responsibilities are of those involved. What responsibilities does a host have towards their guests and vice versa? And as well as hosting people in need previously, Yvonne has also been taking part in some online training organised by Rotheram council.
“One of the things that came out of the training was being clear about what your responsibilities are and what you’re prepared to take on. In my job, I’m very used to helping people work towards independence. I think it’s easy in some cases to create dependence. But I had it very clear in my mind to be careful if they were quite needy. Although they may need support sometimes, it’s about providing that with a view to pull away and empower them again.”
But neediness wasn’t something that Yvonne had to worry about. While she offered support when it was needed, the couple rarely took her up on it…
Yvonne says, “At the start, we had a lot of conversations about what our boundaries and expectations were. I told Yuliia that, initially, I would try to be as available as much as she needed me – for example, to take her to get registered for the doctor – but she said no. She didn’t want to be a burden on me.
“Yuliia’s English is superb,” Yvonne continues. “Andrii’s is very good too but he’s putting himself through a course to get better. They’re just fantastic! Both Yuliia and Andrii are very industrious and absolutely determined that they won’t apply for benefits. They’re not prepared to take anything as charity. Instead, they see this as an opportunity to set themselves up and get on with their next move.”
“I’d suggest making a plan and surrounding yourself with support. So if you don’t feel comfortable, you can address it immediately”
For those thinking about opening their home up to refugees, Yvonne suggests that communication is integral to a happy guest/host relationship…
Yvonne says, “Having lots of conversations has been key. For example, I explained initially that I was happy to cook for them if they’d like me to. I also said that I’d be happy for us to share it or, if they’d prefer, they could be independent. So we’ve negotiated things like that the whole way through.”
But open communication and the urge to do some good sometimes isn’t enough. For many, concerns over safety and security can be a deterrent, particularly for women living alone.
“I can understand why people have fears about letting people into their homes – whether they’re worried about safety or people stealing – especially when they live alone”, says Yvonne. “But, in my experience, those things are rare. This is an opportunity to reach out, and wouldn’t we hope that someone would do the same for us if we were in the same situation?
“For people who’re concerned, I’d suggest making a plan and surrounding yourself with support. So if you don’t feel comfortable, you can address it immediately.”
For advice on how to create a safe environment in your home for both your guests and yourself, you may find some helpful information and resources in this document from the NSPCC.
“It’s been incredible to witness two people making plans and decisions in the aftermath of all of this, to watch them work on building a new life together”
Although, fortunately for Yvonne, she hasn’t felt uncomfortable during her time as a host. Instead, it’s been an enriching and life-affirming experience…
“One of my joys is being with young people. That’s what I’ve spent my life doing through my work. But now that my role is remote, I don’t go into my place of work anymore, and I’ve really missed that intergenerational connection. So having some youngsters around the house again has been lovely.
“It’s also helped me to gain an insight into experiences that I have absolutely no idea about; what it’s like to wake up at four o’clock in the morning with everything shaking. To hear bombs falling. They’re also very knowledgeable, so spending time with them has given me a much broader perspective on European history, and a better understanding of what’s happening over there.”
“But above all, it’s been incredible to witness two people making plans and decisions in the aftermath of all of this, to watch them work on building a new life together.”
Final thoughts from Yvonne…
Recently, Yuliia and Andrii returned to Ukraine, hoping to rent out their flat and sell their car. “I’m just waiting to hear when they’ll be arriving back,” Yvonne says. “But this time it’ll be for good.
“Because Yuliia works remotely, it’s meant that she’s spent some time visiting various areas in the UK to get an idea of where they want to live. I think they want to find a place in Liverpool. I suspect that we’ll stay friends and stay in contact. Hopefully, we’ll continue to visit each other and so on.
“To anyone considering opening up their home, I say go for it but remember to get some support. I knew from the start that, however it went, I would come out of it having benefitted hugely, and I have. It’s just been thrilling!”
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