Creative writing submission from the Rest Less community – submit your entry here.
While I was teaching, it was easy to define myself when meeting new people; “I’m a secondary school English teacher,” I’d reply to their question. But, when I retired, I found it quite difficult to know how to respond. Not because I wasn’t doing anything, but because it seemed too pretentious to say: “I’m a writer!” And yet, in fact, that was what I’d become.
I’ve always written and was first published as a school girl in a Penguin anthology of poetry at age 12, and this did two things for me. It fostered in me a deep love of language in all its magical forms – written, spoken, and read – and it gave me a sense of validation, an audience for my own unique thoughts and ideas.
I think that Penguin publication helped shape my life and, having taught English for 30 years, I never once doubted my place in the world or what I was put on this earth to do. Ask any of my ex-students today and they’ll tell you the same thing, that my mantra was: “Language is power!” And also that the beauty of the chosen word is like an echo, a physical reflection of our own emotions and thoughts.
Unlike some of my colleagues, I valued creative writing enormously; the ability to express your thoughts and feelings, the setting free of the imagination like a wild bird thrown up into the wind from a cupped hand. I found it bizarre that with small children ‘story time’ literally shapes the school day and yet, as they grow older, less and less time is set aside for creative expression.
Of course, there’s a huge emphasis on literature (no arguments there) but the ‘original writing’ piece was generally viewed as the ‘poor relation’. I haven’t been in the classroom for over 15 years now and the components of the GCSE have experienced change but, from studying the syllabus, the weighting on actual free expression is still greatly undervalued in my opinion.
Creative writing IS a form of therapy. It allows people to explore and make sense of troubling emotions, thoughts, and experiences, as well as allowing one to change their thinking, to put things in perspective, and simply enjoy the act of sharing.
Since retiring, though I’d always used writing to organise ideas, weigh the pros and cons of a situation, exorcise my angst, my hopes, and my fears, and allow my imagination to take me to new places of beauty and joy, I started to write in earnest.
Initially I began by volunteering. I wrote formal letters for people who needed my help: legal stuff for an unfair dismissal case (which I loved because of the research that went with it), writing complaints, and letters to the council and utility companies etc. But, almost immediately, I began to explore my own creative side again – laid dormant by the necessity of work for so many years.
I wrote three books of short stories which I published within a period of five years, loving every second of the process. Then later, I was invited to write for two online publications/magazines and I started writing here too!
For me, I love the fact that I can write using completely different styles. My short stories are somewhat dark and sinister. Hauntingly sad in places, troubled and full of human frailties, they look at the darker side of what goes on behind closed doors. On Rest Less, like the other side of a coin, my writing explores humour, the ridiculous, the wonderful world of dog ownership, as well as the sheer beauty of the world around us and our place within it.
The thing is though, the content is only part of the process. I want other people to see what I see, to feel what I feel, to take my hand in theirs and step out together into a world of possibilities. Sitting in front of my computer, expressing myself, choosing the specific words and phrases that allow me to escape the confines of my body, my life, is without doubt a form of shared mindfulness, a form of personal therapy.
Putting it out into the wider world and receiving responses tells me that I’m not alone, even if I live alone. It’s the only way that I’ve ever felt truly heard or seen, ever felt truly myself. My life, like most peoples’, has been a mass of contradictions; a carefully woven tapestry of fine silks, basic cottons, and warm wools that’s created a complex cloth in which to clothe myself. Soft, muted hues of pinks and greens have mixed with the vibrant, hot colours of loss, love, and exceptional mundanity and have all evoked smoke-filled images of just living and surviving within a complex set of unwritten rules.
With my writing, I’m unmasked. The white, bleached bones of my skeleton are laid bare for readers to pick clean or gently lay to rest, but, with either scenario, there’s a shared experience. A validation of existence so precious that it still takes my breath away, even as I grow older, so often unseen, my physical powers dwindling.
So, why I ask, are there so few places where these scribbles are valued, published in the outside world? And why do so few people share their musings, their secret outpourings, to create those valued spaces? I’m not sure I know the answers.
Is it fear of critique, that you might not be good enough, that you might be judged? If that’s the case, then fear not my fellow scribblers, your words are as valuable as any wordsmiths’ or any published authors’. But, the real value of writing comes from just doing it, just closing your eyes and listening to your inner voice, before putting that precious pen to paper.
Have a go, see where it takes you and understand its value. Step into the wooden, wobbling cart at the top of the roller coaster, bring down the safety bar, and enjoy the ride. Who knows, as you trundle at top speed around the bends, dips, and troughs, you might, as you speed down the slopes, just take off…and learn how to fly!
Are you feeling creative? We are proud to have a hugely talented community on Rest Less, which is why we’re so excited to open up a section of the site dedicated to showcasing the wonderful and diverse writing of our members. If you have a piece of creative writing that you’d like to share with the Rest Less community – you can do so here.