Having a partner who is controlling or abusive over money can be deeply upsetting and very frightening, but if you’re the victim of financial abuse, what are your rights and what can you do?
You may not have heard of the phrase ‘financial abuse’, but it refers to stealing or defrauding someone of their money or trying to control them through their finances. It can be subtle, such as trying to control your spending (and that doesn’t mean suggesting you spend less if you spend half of your life in the shops) or, in the worst cases, it can include stealing from you and/or refusing to let you have money you need to live on or access to your own money.
For example, does your partner try to stop you from spending your money, refuse to pay bills, or take money out of your joint account without asking? If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these, you may be the victim of financial abuse.
Examples of financial abuse
Citizens Advice surveyed its advisors for examples of financial abuse. It found that nine out of ten of its advisers said they’d helped someone who’d been the victim of financial abuse. The most common types of financial abuse that advisors had encountered were:
the perpetrator not contributing to joint bills
the perpetrator getting the victim to take out credit (73% of advisors had seen this)
the perpetrator using all joint resources
the perpetrator controlling access to the victim’s income, banking or savings
the perpetrator controlling or interfering with the victim’s benefits.
Citizens Advice said that 42% of those who responded had seen examples where a partner or family member had transferred a bill or a debt to someone else, while 43% had seen cases where the perpetrator stole from the victim and 18% had seen cases where the perpetrator damaged the victim’s property.
What can you do if you’re a victim of financial abuse?
For a start, recognise what you’re experiencing as abuse. It can be hard to admit that your partner or another family member is being abusive, and in some ways it can be harder if that abuse is financial rather than physical. But although financial abuse doesn’t result in physical damage, its effects can be traumatic. And – sadly – financial and physical or emotional abuse can go hand in hand.
Who can help you if you’re a victim of financial abuse?
There are a number of organisations that can help you. Whatever you do, don’t ignore the problem or hope it will get better, as it rarely improves and often gets worse.
Contact one or more of these organsiations:
- Citizens Advice: They can give you help and advice with your finances, your rights to your home and benefits. Contact Citizens Advice in England and Wales, Citizens Advice in Scotland or Citizens Advice in Northern Ireland via Citizens Advice.
- Refuge Against Domestic Violence – Help for women & children: Refuge has a 24-hour telephone helpline number of 0808 2000 247.
- Women’s Aid: Women’s Aid is a charity working to end domestic violence. It uses the same telephone number as Refuge – 0808 2000 247.
- Respect Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men: The Respect helpline is a men’s advice line for male victims of domestic abuse – 0808 801 0327
When does abuse happen?
Citizens Advice found that financial abuse can happen in relationships that are otherwise stable and secure. Although the fact that abuse is occurring can mean that the relationship then breaks down. However, it can also be carried out alongside other forms of abuse or after a relationship has broken down.
If you find that financial abuse begins when your relationship is ending, take steps to try and separate your finances as soon as possible. Find out more in our article Sorting out your finances when a relationship ends.
If you need help, it can be a good idea to seek mediation or, if you’re unable to resolve things that way, professional legal advice. For more information on mediation, or to find your nearest mediation service, visit the National Family Mediation website. Alternatively, you can find a solicitor with the help of Resolution, a membership organisation for professionals who work with separating couples. Alternatively, you can find a solicitor using the Law Society website. If you live in Northern Ireland, you can find one on the the Law Society of Northern Ireland website, or if you live in Scotland, via the Family Law Association website.