Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. In fact, coercive behaviour is often at its heart. According to the latest statistics, there were 43,774 recorded offences of coercive control in England and Wales in the year ending March 2023 – a significant increase from previous years.
Coercive control is designed to harm, punish, and control victims, and can have a lasting impact on physical and mental wellbeing. Unfortunately, due to its manipulative nature, coercive control can be difficult to spot, too. So, raising awareness around coercive control has never been more important.
With that said, here’s everything you need to know about coercive control – including warning signs and where to turn for help.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a behaviour or pattern of behaviours that a person uses to harm, punish, control, or frighten someone. It’s a form of domestic abuse.
Coercive control is used to make people dependent on their abuser by isolating them, exploiting them, and monitoring their everyday behaviour. Many experts liken coercive control to being taken hostage. As Professor Evan Stark says, “the victim becomes captive in an unreal world created by the abuser, entrapped in a world of confusion, contradiction, and fear.”
Coercive control can occur within intimate or familial relationships – for example, a partner, parent, close friend, or other family member. It’s been recognised as a criminal offence since 2015 but, in order to be prosecuted, the abuser and victim have to be personally connected.
Most victims of coercive control are women and the large majority of perpetrators are men. For example, 97.7% of people convicted for coercive control in 2022 in England and Wales were men. However, men can also be victims.
What are some signs of coercive control?
Coercive control can take many forms. However, according to Women’s Aid, some more common examples of coercive behaviour include…
- Isolating you from family and friends
- Monitoring your time
- Depriving you of basic needs, such as food
- Repeatedly putting you down – for example, saying you’re worthless
- Controlling your finances
- Preventing you from accessing support services, such as medical care
- Controlling aspects of your everyday life, such as who you see, where you can go, and what you wear
- Making threats or intimidating you
For those experiencing coercive control, the threat of violence may feel ever present. While, coercive control doesn’t typically include physical violence, in extreme cases, it can lead to this.
Due to its manipulative nature, coercive control can be difficult to spot – including for those who are victim to it. For example, it’s not uncommon for abusers to appear charming or have sudden mood changes, making victims question their experiences. This list of questions from Refuge can also be helpful for spotting the signs of coercive control.
What impact can coercive control have on someone’s wellbeing?
Coercive control can have lasting impacts on a person’s mental and physical health, as well as on their relationships and sense of self.
No two cases of coercive control are the same, so everyone’s experience will be different. However, we’ll cover some of the more common long-term impacts of coercive control below.
The impact of coercive control on mental health
Coercive control can significantly impact a person’s mental health in several ways.
According to Welsh Women’s Aid, severe depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are common consequences of coercive control. These conditions can make living independently, functioning at work, and maintaining healthy relationships, difficult.
In this study, 52% of women in domestic violence shelters experienced major depression, compared to a 2.5% national average.
Many victims also experience low confidence and self-esteem, suffer from anxiety, and become isolated due to fear of trusting others.
The impact of coercive control on physical health
As a result of its impact on mental health, research has found that coercive control can significantly impact physical health, too.
According to experts, chronic stress, which compromises the immune system’s ability to fight diseases, accounts for 80% of the indirect effects of coercive control on survivors’ physical health.
This may manifest in things like sleep disturbances, digestive issues, headaches, and even heart conditions. For example, long-term stress is linked with high blood pressure and a greater risk of heart disease.
In some cases, victims of coercive control may also be prevented from accessing medical care, which can further impact health.
I’m experiencing coercive control – where can I get help?
If you’re experiencing coercive control, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse, and there are organisations out there ready to help you. We’ll cover some of these below.
Note: If you’re in an emergency, it’s important to call 999. If you’re worried someone may be monitoring your devices, exit this page and visit from a safe device. Refuge has more information about keeping your technology safe on their website.
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline – free 24-hour helpline providing advice and support to women and can refer them to emergency accommodation.
- Women’s Aid – provides a wide range of resources to help women and young people, including a Survivor’s Handbook.
- Refuge – the UK’s largest domestic abuse organisation for women. Their helpline offers advice and support to women experiencing domestic violence. Refuge also provides safe, emergency accommodation throughout the UK.
- Men’s Advice Line – a helpline for male victims of domestic abuse.
- Galop – a helpline for LGBT+ people experiencing abuse or violence, including domestic abuse.
Mental health charity Mind has an extensive list of domestic abuse and violence support organisations on their website.
Recovering from coercive control – 5 things that can help
Coercive control can significantly impact physical and mental health, so it’s important to allow yourself the time and space you need to heal and recover. Connecting with others, immersing yourself in nature, and rebuilding a sense of safety can all be helpful for improving your wellbeing.
We’ll cover some of these ideas below.
1. Be kind and gentle with yourself
Above all else, when recovering from coercive control, it’s important to be kind, gentle, and patient with yourself. Recovery is rarely linear so, to avoid things becoming overwhelming, it can be helpful to take things one step at a time.
Practising self-care, for example, through mindfulness, scheduling in ‘me time’, and introducing stress-relieving activities, is a great place to start.
For help with this, you might like to read our article: What is self-care and why is it important?
2. Look after your physical health
Our physical and mental health are intricately connected. So, taking care of your physical health can make a world of difference to how well you feel.
This can be particularly important for those recovering from coercive relationships where they had restrictions placed on their daily choices – for example, around food, exercise, sleep, and access to healthcare.
For tips on everything from eating a healthy diet to enjoying gentle exercise and creating an enjoyable nighttime routine, head over to the health section of our website. Remember, these don’t have to be big changes to be effective; simple things like walking more and eating more fruits and vegetables can make all the difference.
3. Connect with nature
Spending time outside in nature has many benefits for mental health – and research suggests it may be particularly beneficial for those recovering from trauma.
In this study, connecting with nature was found to benefit victims of trauma by helping to regulate emotions, increase confidence, and reduce stress.
You might like to have a read of our 32 ways to connect with nature for inspiration.
4. Create a support network
Connecting with others and building a support network is key for recovering from coercive control – providing emotional validation, helping to process trauma, and reminding you that you’re alone.
You might like to spend time with trusted friends and family members or consider joining a support group where you can connect with people who have been through similar experiences.
Some people also find it useful to seek professional counselling or therapy, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which can help you process difficult emotions and rebuild self-esteem. The healthy mind section of our website has more information on this.
5. Work on rebuilding a sense of safety
Experiencing coercive control can deeply impact how safe you feel and your ability to trust in others. As a result, rebuilding a sense of security by creating a safe environment that nurtures both your physical and mental wellbeing is important for healing.
Setting goals can help you regain a sense of control, purpose, and motivation; while practising self-affirmations can be useful for rebuilding confidence and self-esteem. If you lived with your abuser, having secure living arrangements is important – whether with trusted family or friends or in a shelter.
How to support someone who’s been a victim of coercive control
If you know someone who’s been a victim of coercive control, you might wonder how you can best support them.
For guidance, you might like to read this page on supporting victims of domestic abuse from Reducing the Risk of Domestic Abuse.
Final thoughts...
Coercive control can have devastating and lasting effects on a person’s physical and mental wellbeing. If you’re currently experiencing coercive control, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and that, with the right help and support, it’s entirely possible to break free and rebuild your life.
For further reading, head over to the healthy mind section of our website. Here, you’ll find information on everything from maintaining healthy relationships to counselling and therapy.