This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.
Vibrators! Yes, I’ve said it and the following article is about those magical aids that can improve your life and put a little skip in your step, if you need it. If you feel you may be sensitive to such a subject, please don’t read any further.
I am a huge fan of ‘Grace and Frankie’ which you can stream on Netflix and by watching it has led me to believe that maybe older women are coy about their own sexual pleasures. In this series they have really bought the subject of vibrators to the fore (play).
In days of old there was the joke of having an easy orgasm while sitting on the spin dryer. These days you can search online to discreetly buy all kinds of sex toys to stimulate your love life, either as a couple or singleton. I have never talked about vibrators with my best friends, even though when women get together the chat can often become quite intimate.
I have two sex toys. One is a vibrator and the other a clitoris stimulator which you can use at the same time as making love with your partner to heighten your pleasure. It looks a little like a lipstick case and is called a bullet. They’re great and I have to admit, as I am in my later years, I don’t have the energy to “go all night” as I used to and they leave me satisfied, and my partner, more quickly.
A suggestion when buying a vibrator is that you should think long and hard about it. I do have a problem with the design and colour of most vibrators. I have played the field with them (rabbit hunting) until I found one that is aesthetically pleasing on the eye and vagina and isn’t designed to look like it will hop out of the bedroom before I do. Or oscillate at a rate so fast it made me think it was going to explode (that’s what I want it to do to me!) Also, I am very particular about their colour. Why, oh why, do some manufacturers of vibrators feel they have to be in day-glo pink, lurid green, shocking blue or pulsating purple?
I first bought a vibrator several years ago after feeling guilty for wanting something that gave me sexual pleasure without the worry of being emotionally hurt by a man again. My ex husband had departed and I had been on my own for some time. I realised until I was at the point that I actually liked myself, after years of emotional abuse and infidelity on his part, I couldn’t even think about another relationship but I did want sex and want to be wanted.
I read an article about male escorts in The Sunday Times magazine and thought “that’s it, I’ll try that” but found out the cost and decided I needed another way of sexual stimulation. A vibrator can bring you to heightened climax more quickly and you don’t have to say “I love you”, however a vibrator can certainly never replace a loving partner. Happily, sex toys are becoming more popular and not the taboo subject they used to be.
I’m happy to say that even though I am now in a happy marriage, I still have an on off relationship with my vibrator…
A&G readers are entitled to 15% off with code AG15 at the Lovehoney website.
Offer ends 31 August 2023
Have you read our article about the multiple benefits of sex after 60?