Often, to change our lives for the better, we need to allow time and space for personal growth. Though, everyone’s personal growth journey will look different and will likely evolve over time.
For example, you could be on a journey to loving and accepting yourself, improving your health, building a new career, or discovering your passions and adding more fulfilment to your days.
Whatever you’re aiming for, the good news is that there are a number of tools you can use to help you strive toward your goals, stay on track, and prioritise your commitment to becoming a healthier, happier version of yourself.
With that said, here are 11 self-development skills that can improve your life.
1. Learn to separate the things you can control from the things you can't
One of the most liberating and important steps in any self-development journey involves letting go of the things in your life that you can’t control, so you have more time and energy to put into the things that you can. Letting go of what you can’t control may also help you start living in the here and now.
For example, you can’t change the past or whether people like or dislike you. But what you can do is leave a relationship if it’s making you unhappy and work on being the best version of yourself.
Other examples of things you can control are how open you are to new opportunities and how you choose to put your values and beliefs into practice.
This article on How to stop worrying about things that you can’t change from Psychology Today has six tips that may help if you’re finding it difficult to let go.
2. Write down your goals
According to research, we’re 42% more likely to achieve our goals if we write them down. Experts believe that this is because putting pen to paper provides clarity. It also forces us to consider how we can take proactive steps to get to where we want to be.
It can be helpful to start journaling to keep tabs on your progress. For every goal, try to write down at least one action that you can take to help you achieve it. This can be particularly empowering.
If you want to go a step further, you could also consider creating a vision board full of images and words that remind you of your goals. These boards can encourage you to visualise your dreams and start to believe in them – which can be a powerful motivator in making them happen.
3. Practise self-awareness and reflection
An integral part of personal growth involves practising self-awareness and reflection, so you can learn more about your strengths, weaknesses, reactions, habits, lmotivations, fears, and so on.
Self-awareness can help you better understand how to meet your own needs and how your actions can impact the world around you. Building self-awareness often means making a conscious effort to take stock of your reactions and behaviours to better understand how this could be affecting yourself and others – or how other people’s actions could be affecting you.
For example, understanding your boundaries can help you set or re-establish these with the people around you.
Self-reflection is similar, but it requires us to evaluate whether or not our reactions and behaviours were right for a particular situation so we can plan for next time. It involves asking yourself questions like: How did I handle that situation? Could I have done things differently? Did my actions align with my values and beliefs?
Observing and reflecting on our actions and behaviours can feel uncomfortable because it forces us to face up to aspects of ourselves that we may not like and it can leave us feeling vulnerable. But self-awareness and reflection are powerful tools for learning more about who we are and how we can get to where we want to be.
To get started, why not try these 10 practices for self-exploration?
4. Accept that fear is a normal part of growth
Though personal development can be exciting, it can also go hand in hand with fear. Nine times out of 10, we need to step outside of our comfort zone to grow – but this can come with butterflies, sweaty palms, and a strong urge to run away.
Many people try to fight this fear. However, some of the greatest feelings of accomplishment and pride come when we achieve the things we thought we couldn’t.
If stepping outside of your comfort zone is something that you find tricky, it can help to start small. Even things like trying a new recipe or taking a different route to work can shake our daily routines up and remind us that there’s always more to explore in life.
You might want to have a read of our article, 18 ways to step outside of your comfort zone, to find out more.
5. Practise mindfulness
To quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
When we’re striving toward our goals, it’s easy for our minds to be constantly focused on the future, not the present. This can cause us to become unfocused on what’s in front of us and may lead to stress and anxiety about what’s to come.
Mindfulness can help with this, as it encourages us to concentrate on the present moment. In doing so, we can come to understand ourselves better, enjoy ourselves more, improve our focus, and let go of our worries.
It’s easy to start practising mindfulness – for example, you can do so on the bus, while exercising, or just before bed.
To get started on your mindfulness journey, why not take a look at our introductory guide to mindfulness or sign up to a mindfulness meditation on Rest Less Events?
6. Become your own biggest supporter
"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experiences that reveals the human spirit"
Sometimes, learning to love and accept yourself can be the goal in itself. Yet, other times, it’s needed to help us get to somewhere else.
Being your own biggest supporter is important for a number of reasons. But it’s especially important when it comes to trusting and forgiving yourself, believing in yourself and your capabilities, and prioritising your own needs and wants.
When we accept and like who we are and what we stand for, making decisions can feel easier, and spending time with ourselves can be more enjoyable. We may also be better able to assert ourselves, set boundaries, and have healthier relationships with the people around us.
Learning to become comfortable in your own skin is something that takes time, but with patience and perseverance, it’s possible. Our articles, 16 ways to improve your confidence and self-esteem and 7 powerful ways to conquer self-limiting beliefs, have plenty of tips on how to do this.
Kamal Rivikant’s book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, is also a great read. It details how Rivikant recovered from some of his darkest moments and how, in the end, it was self-love and acceptance that helped him move forward.
7. Read widely
When it comes to your goals, knowledge is power, so it can help to try and incorporate some regular reading into your day. What you decide to read about will usually depend on what it is you want to achieve.
For example, if you’re planning to start up your own business, you might find it useful to read autobiographies of entrepreneurs or ‘how to’ books on various different business models, to equip yourself with as much information as possible.
Some people also get a lot out of reading more general self-development or productivity books, which can offer advice on things like forming routines, building confidence, and overcoming fear.
If you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy reading or is always on the go, you could consider listening to podcasts or audiobooks instead.
You might like to check out the various book clubs running on Rest Less Events.
8. Try not to compare yourself to others
It can be tempting to measure your progress against that of other people. However, this can lead to feelings of demotivation, dissatisfaction, and jealousy – none of which is helpful for your journey.
Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, it might be helpful to…
- Remember that someone else’s success doesn’t take away from your progress, and the more we can learn to support and celebrate other people’s achievements, the happier we tend to be.
- Remind yourself that having imperfections is normal and they’re what make us unique. It’s also true that everyone has them – even if they aren’t immediately obvious! No one is perfect.
- Focus on your own journey and learn to be happy with your progress this far. It’s easy to get caught up in competing with others that whatever we do is never enough. This is why the only person you should ever compare yourself to is you.
9. Practise gratitude and optimism
When practised often, skills like gratitude and optimism can be life-changing. Many people assume that these are inherent traits that we’re simply born with, yet optimism and gratitude can be learned and developed at any age.
These skills are important as they help us build resilience and keep moving forward. Optimism and gratitude can also help us to see new opportunities, have greater satisfaction and happiness in life, and find silver linings in even the most difficult of situations.
If you’re used to dwelling on the negative, it can feel like a tricky cycle to break – but with practise it’s possible to start seeing things differently. To get started, why not have a read of our articles; How to learn the skill of optimism and How practising gratitude can lead to a happier life.
10. Declutter your life
Decluttering and organising can have a significant impact on the way you think and feel.
For example, if you’ve been holding onto items from your past that bring up negative memories, you may struggle to look positively at the future. Or, if you have clothes that don’t make you feel particularly good about yourself or reflect your personality, this can also have an effect on your confidence and may end up holding you back.
Removing these items from your life and making a conscious effort to only introduce new things that add real value or make you feel good can set you on a more positive path.
Plus, whether we realise it or not, having a home, car, or workspace, that’s overflowing with stuff can leave our minds feeling cluttered and overwhelmed.
Therefore, decluttering and reorganising can not only leave you with a tidier space but with a tidier mind too.
Though the idea of decluttering your living space can be daunting, there are plenty of tips and tricks you can use to help make the process as seamless as possible. To get started, why not have a read of our handy guide, here?
For some people, decluttering can also extend to relationships. This could mean letting go of connections that no longer serve you well or that leave you feeling anxious, upset, or unsettled – and focusing on creating new, positive connections with like-minded individuals.
11. Embrace your mistakes
Personal growth usually doesn’t come without some form or failure along the way. However, it’s important not to let bumps in the road stop you from moving forward.
Making mistakes gives us the opportunity to get to know ourselves better and learn how we can achieve a more successful outcome in future. It can also teach us lessons in resilience and gratitude – and give us the courage to grab new opportunities next time.
The most common reason that many people are scared to step outside of their comfort zone and try something new is the fear of failure. But once we make peace with failure and start to see it for what it is (a necessary part of life that goes hand in hand with self-development), we often feel less afraid to strive towards our goals, even if they come with risk.
Every time we achieve success after failure, we’re also reminded how strong and mentally capable we are, which builds confidence and reminds us why personal growth is about the journey, not just the destination.
Final thoughts…
Journeys of personal growth and development aren’t always easy, but that’s part of what makes them so fulfilling. Often, it’s when we challenge ourselves and achieve things we may not have thought we could that our lives develop more meaning and purpose.
It’s also never too late to start working towards becoming a happier, healthier version of yourself. So, whatever your goals, we hope that this article has given you some ideas for how you can start achieving your full potential.
One final tip is to remember to trust the process. Sometimes, not all progress is immediately obvious, but if you stay consistent and don’t give up, things will eventually fall into place.
Head over to the healthy mind section of our website for further reading.
Have you had success with any of the tips above? Or do you have any other personal growth and development tips you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.