Whether your children never left home or have returned after moving out, you’re part of a growing crowd. Research shows that the number of adults living with their parents in England and Wales has risen by 620,000 in a decade – due to factors such as soaring rent prices and the cost of living.
Having grown-up children living at home can be enjoyable, but without proper communication and boundaries in place, it can be difficult too.
With this in mind, we’ll be exploring why more and more young adults are living with their parents and offer tips on how to keep things as harmonious as possible.
Why are more adult children living at home?
Across England and Wales, there’s been a 15% rise in the number of ‘non-dependent adult children’ living at home over a decade. The number of adult children living at home now totals 4.9 million, and the group has an average age of 24.
Figures suggest that not only are children staying at home for longer, but many are returning home after a period of time away – hence the nickname, ‘boomerang generation’.
There are various reasons why adult children may remain or return to living with their parents. This includes the breakup of relationships, finding it difficult to leave home, health issues which make it impossible or unrealistic for them to live on their own, and having parents who require care.
However, while there are various contributing factors, it’s certainly true that economics – specifically the soaring price of rent and property in many areas of the UK – is playing a huge role in this growing trend.
We’ll cover this more in depth below.
Soaring property prices and the cost of living are causing more adult children to live at home
According to ONS data, in 1997, more than half of 21-year-olds had already left home, and many 18 to 34-year-olds were living in a couple with one or more children. However, in 2021, most people in their early 20s were still living with their parents – totalling just over half of all people aged 23 and under.
Research suggests that the cost of renting or buying a property is a key factor in this growing trend, as fewer and fewer adults have the financial means to consider moving out.
This is evidenced by data which revealed that, in the north-east of England (the most affordable area in the UK to buy a house), the number of young adults living with their parents actually fell between 2011 and 2021. Meanwhile, London (the most expensive area in the UK to buy or rent a property) has seen the fastest growth in adults living with their parents over the past 10 years.
This trend also stretches to those in their late 20s, for many of whom moving back home is the only way they can save for a mortgage. In fact, statistics show that around 30% of 25 to 29-year-olds currently live with their parents, as well as over one in 10 30 to 34-year-olds – which is up by 8.6% from 2011.
In addition to this, the general rise in the cost of living – from supermarket prices to sky-rocketing household bills – is also making it more difficult for young adults to move out and become financially independent.
6 tips for parents whose adult children live at home
Having your adult children at home can be enjoyable, but it can present challenges too. For this reason, it’s important to have healthy boundaries in place and to create an atmosphere that encourages communication.
Below, we’ll offer some ideas on how to navigate having adult children at home.
1. Communicate with each other and discuss basic ground rules
Whether your adult child has moved back home or never left, it’s important to discuss some ground rules.
Being open, clear, and transparent with your child about what you expect from them while they’re living under your roof can help to prevent any misunderstandings.
Some things that you might like to discuss include rent, chores, car shares, cooking, and if/how much they’ll contribute to the food bill. During discussions, remember to listen to each other and make sure that everyone has the opportunity to voice their opinion. If you find it useful, you might like to write down what you agree – for example, creating a list of who’s responsible for doing which chores.
2. Plan for any future problems that may arise
Having adult children living with you at home has the potential to cause conflict. This can be over issues such as money, shared space, cleaning up, how often you spend time together, expectations around having a partner or date in the home, and the use of alcohol.
As a result, it can help to plan ahead and create future solutions for these problems, should they arise. For example, who will decide what you watch on the television in the evenings? Will you allow your adult child to bring their partner into your home? If you get a takeaway, will you each pay for your share?
Just as with basic ground rules, it’s beneficial to keep communication open so that if a problem does occur, you’re in a position to cope with it clearly and calmly. This can also help to prevent things from escalating because it’ll be clear from the start what is and isn’t allowed. This is just as important for those who’ve never left home as for those who are moving back.
3. Check in with each other regularly
While it’s important to have ground rules when an adult child is living with you at home, don’t be afraid to change things around if you need to.
Setting weekly or monthly check-ins to reflect on what’s going well and what needs adjusting can help to keep things running smoothly, open up communication, and fix any issues. Having a set date and time to talk can also help to spark conversations that might otherwise be trickier to approach.
4. Remember that you’re all adults now
When your adult child is living at home, it’s important to recognise that they’re not a child anymore.
It’s natural to want to continue to or revert back to taking care of them as you did when they were younger. But while parental care and support are important and valuable throughout life, there’s a balance to be struck.
It’s also worth considering that, by making their lives too comfortable, they may not want to move out, which can hinder their independence and self-development. For further guidance on this, have a read of our article; How to give emotional and practical support to children and grandchildren of all ages.
5. Discuss future plans
Whether your adult child is still living at home or has moved back in with you, it can be helpful to discuss what their future plans are – including how long they plan to live with you.
While things rarely go exactly to plan, having this information can not only help you feel prepared, but also provide your child with a goal to work towards. In turn, this can prevent them from becoming accustomed to the idea of not moving out and encourage them to take the necessary steps towards becoming independent – for example, by getting a permanent job or creating a budget plan.
Many households also find it helpful to check in with each other on these plans regularly, to see how they’re progressing and whether or not there’s anything that can be done to help.
6. Avoid snooping
While it might be tempting to snoop around when an adult child lives at home, either because you want to know more about what they’re getting up to or you’re attempting to control aspects of their life, it’s important not to do so.
Healthy relationships are built on trust and infringing on your adult child’s privacy isn’t right – even if they live under your roof. As children, we heavily rely on our parents, but it’s important to recognise that these boundaries change during adulthood.
If you have concerns about what your adult child is getting up to, the best approach is to speak to them about it openly.
Final thoughts...
Soaring property prices and the rising cost of living means that more and more young adults are living at home for longer. While having an adult child live with you can be rewarding, it can present challenges too.
But the good news is that by communicating with each other and setting out ground rules from the beginning, it can work smoothly.
For further reading, head over to the relationships section of our website. Here, you’ll find information on everything from coping with empty nest syndrome to helping your adult child find independence.
What are your experiences of having adult children living at home? Do you have any further tips that you’d like to share? We’d be interested to hear from you in the comments below.
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