Creative writing submission from the Rest Less community – submit your entry here.
Since losing my beloved dogs, Arthur and Ila, in July, I haven’t been able to write or do much of anything really. I felt consumed by grief. I was struggling in a cloud of grey, drowning in an ocean which gathered into a wave of darkness; my head was all over the place and my stomach was in knots. I couldn’t eat or sleep and I felt my world shrinking minute by minute.
Then, last Tuesday, somebody got in touch with me and told me about a pair of Miniature Dachshunds whose owners were emigrating to Australia and who hadn’t been able to re-home them together. Though they’d had lots of interest, nobody wanted to take them both.
Willow wasn’t yet spayed (she came into season before it could be done), and the wrong people wanted her. She’s just two, Kennel Club (KC) registered, and has a good bloodline so people looked at her and saw pound signs as KC puppies can command up to £3,000 each. And nobody was interested in Bear, bless him.
Something about the whole situation spoke to me – they needed rescuing and so did I. The torpor began to lift and I found myself waking up, feeling that something was calling me and I needed to respond.
I did all the necessary checks – including talking to their vet and checking their ownership/KC registration and microchip IDs. Then, my dear friend, Kate, drove the long drive on Thursday so that we could meet them. To cut a long story short, I don’t think anybody was more surprised than me when they came home with me! And I absolutely know that I had Arthur and Ila’s permission.
So…meet Willow and Bear!
Together, we’re learning about each other. It’s going well but they too are grieving, having lost everything they’ve ever known since puppyhood. It’s not the same as taking a dog from a shelter. They’re confused, sad, timid, and very reactive. They’re also very noisy and clearly haven’t been taught ‘greeting skills’.
Willow is my shadow and coping quite well, but Bear is lost. He’s very needy and really struggling. I remember when Ila first came to me, having lived in a loving home already, she too had a hard time settling in. She lost a lot of weight and was utterly bewildered.
I get it, but I have the experience and understanding needed. I know it’ll take patience, kindness, and love. The thing is, I know exactly what they’re going through and I believe that it was meant to be, that we found each other for a reason at the right time, both being somewhat lost.
Willow is the boss. She’s more confident; she’s respectful when you’re eating and likes to be up in your face giving kisses. Whereas Bear tried to literally take the toast out of my mouth and clamber onto my plate (shades of Ila here!). Also, I’ll be enrolling him into Slimming World, as we have a little bit of ‘just been neutered’ weight which needs to come off to make him much more comfortable. When food isn’t involved, he’s very worried. While Willow follows me from room to room, Bear stays behind and then cries because he’s been left on his own.
On our first night, in the horrendous summer heat, they both clambered onto the bed and wanted to snuggle right into me. It was like having a just cooked baked potato under each armpit! I thought of all the people who’d complain as with every cat and hedgehog sound outside, they launched into a fit of high-pitched barking. I gently tried to control the situation, but I understood. It’s all new to them, the sights, sounds, me…everything!
Of course, I don’t let them just get on with it or try to control it by shouting myself. That’s not how it works. I simply reassured them, quietly told them that it was OK, that I was on the ball, and would take over if needed. As they grew more confident in my assertions, the woofing sessions got shorter each time.
Last night, we had only one woofing session at about 11 pm which was followed by a completely quiet, controlled night until we woke together at seven am. Every time they gave a rumble, I reminded them that I was in charge and that it was ok. Have I solved that little issue? Absolutely not…for a while we’ll have good and bad nights, but it’s a process and we’ll get there. Patience and reiteration is the key, as well as good, kind, and understanding neighbours!
I left them for the first time yesterday too. They’ve never been crate trained but I created a cosy den for them – a safe space with a blanket from their old home. This is always how I’ve used a crate, never for punishment. Thankfully, I stopped their previous owner from washing their blanket so it had a familiar scent. I settled them down and left them for just over an hour.
I had images of them shouting the house down in my absence, and all the neighbours being out in their gardens thinking, “What the heck?” But, I came home to absolute silence. I crept into the house via the garden and they were curled up together, fast asleep. Whew! I’m sure they probably kicked off initially, but once they learn I’ll come home, they’ll settle down.
I accept it’ll be hard for those around me at first as, though I’ve always had dogs, Shiba are incredibly quiet (unless screaming), so this will be a shock to the system. It’s a big change but I’m blessed as my neighbours are great.
My whole life I’ve trained my dogs properly and have never just left a dog to bark, so with my neighbours’ support, which I have, we can overcome this. Dachshunds are ‘gobby’, it’s in the contract. I’ve had two previously so I have experience, and I trained both not to be a nuisance, meaning that I’m quietly confident that I have the skills needed and, given time, we’ll have silence!
As for me, I feel as if I can breathe again and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As a very clever friend told me; “You have two choices: if nothing changes, nothing changes. Or enforce those changes, embrace them, and move forward. You’re deserving of a peaceful life as life does go on.”
I’ve chosen the second path and I have absolutely no doubt that as we trot down the road together, there’ll be two little ghostly Shiba at our heels, trotting along behind and spurring us on!
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