“Sometimes those who fly solo have the strongest wings”
Being single gets better with age – and this is actually a fact. Results from a long-running study in Germany of people aged between 40 and 85 showed that…
- People who stay single become more satisfied with their lives.
- Whether or not you have a romantic partner becomes less relevant to how lonely you feel.
We hope that’s reassuring news for you if you’re among the growing number of people living alone in the UK. A quarter of all people aged 50 and over now live by themselves, and there’s been a particularly large increase for men aged 65 and over. By 2043 it is predicted that almost 4.5 million people aged 65 and over will live alone.
So why is the single life better as you get older? Here are five reasons, and how you can make the most of them.
1. You can pick your favourite travel destinations
“When the energy prices shot up last year, I booked myself on a cruise. I turned the heating off at home and spent my savings aboard ship”
Successful relationships are all about compromise. But the successful single life is all about celebrating yourself. You’ve reached a point in your life where you don’t have to take anyone else’s feelings or tastes into consideration. And that’s particularly freeing when you’re travelling.
If you’re even slightly upset by the thought of booking a holiday by yourself, remember that travelling as a couple can be stressful. According to a 2016 study, 40% of couples admitted to arguing every day on holiday, with the main source of tension being “spending too much time together.” In fact, the study found that one in 10 couples split up as soon as they got home.
In contrast, you can voyage around the globe peacefully, and your only struggle will be carrying your duty-free giant Toblerone.
How to start travelling by yourself…
- You don’t have to jump in with a month-long Nile cruise. You could Ssart by arranging a solo night away, perhaps in a picturesque Air B&B.
- Practise dining alone by treating yourself to a lovely solo lunch.
- Join a camping club so you can holiday near other people, but not with other people.
- Look into activity holidays, like yoga or writing retreats, walking holidays or painting breaks. When you’re engaged in an activity, you’re less likely to feel lonely. For example, you could learn to do crafts on a cruise.
Don’t fancy a solo holiday? Group tours are popular and give you the chance to make friends (or even a special someone to argue with next time.) To get some inspiration for your next trip, check out our selected deals for Group Guided-Tour Holidays.
2. You’ll have more friends
“Many women are not just surviving alone, they're thriving. They're empowered, they're making money, they're being healthy, they're traveling"
When you’re single, you typically have more time – and motivation – to invest in your friendships. And it often pays off. Across the world, single people have more friends than married people. According to research, in the UK, singles have an average of six close friends they could call on if they had a “severe emotional or financial crisis” – while married people have four.
If you’ve just counted up your inner circle and found you have less than six, even including your chatty postman, it’s not too late to boost that number. In fact, you’re arguably in the perfect age bracket to do it.
People over 50 are often less bound by the day-to-day parenting duties and may be winding down at work, creating more time to go out. And there are loads of charities, clubs, and day centres focussed on bringing mature adults together.
Other ways to make friends can include…
- Joining social groups based around things you enjoy, like art classes, dance lessons, or fitness clubs.
- Trying a taster evening at your local Women’s Institute or Men’s Shed.
- Checking your local library for book clubs.
- Sporty? Trying your local gym for social events that involve lifting mini Scotch eggs rather than weights.
- Volunteering. This can be a good, and worthwhile, way to meet new people and has the added benefit of being great for your mental health.
For more ideas, check out our list of 12 ways to make new friends.
3. You have complete control in the kitchen
“After a lifetime of cooking for my family, I love catering just for myself. It’s bliss to have a bag of crisps for dinner”
Even if your speciality is simply Beans A La Toast, you’ve probably acquired some culinary skills over your lifetime. And who better to lavish them on than yourself? Cooking isn’t just functional: it’s an act of love. When you take the time to prepare your favourite foods just for you, it turns into self love.
Cooking for one can be tinged with nostalgia if you’re used to preparing meals for a big family or a partner, so it can be helpful to try different ways of making it more fun.
Easy ways to liven up solo cooking include…
- Focusing on making meals you can get excited about. What are your favourite foods? What do you always order if you see it on a restaurant menu? Try starting there.
- Browsing a dedicated meals-for-one website like OneDishKitchen.com for inspiration (I was tempted to kick out my husband just to make their Mini Meatloaf.)
- Not feeling that you have to stick to traditional meals. Your kitchen, your rules. Go rogue and have breakfast foods for dinner if you want to. Or have a cream tea every night for a week. Buy a posh blender and try a juice fast (to lose all that cream-tea weight). Cook 30 different types of soup…
- Follow cook-along videos on YouTube for a more companiable feeling.
- Make bigger batches of your favourite foods and swap some with your friends.
For more inspiration, check out our list of easy dinner ideas for one.
4. You have (statistically) better mental health
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy”
Surprising UK research discovered that you’re more likely to have good mental health if you surround yourself with close friends, rather than a partner. The study interviewed 60 people aged 18-75 to discover what type of ‘personal community’ they had built (partner-based, family-based, friend-based, or professional-based). Then the researchers looked at the participants’ mental health.
They found that two groups were especially likely to have poor mental health: those in the professional-based personal communities, and those in the partner-based. People who surrounded themselves in friend- and family-based personal communities did much better.
This suggests that, the more diverse your sources of support, the more resilient and happier you’ll be. So, how can you bring more people into your world?
Below are some things to consider…
- Are there old friends from years ago that you’ve lost touch with? If so, maybe arrange a meeting to catch up.
- Do you have family rifts that you could mend? Perhaps now is the time to reach out.
- Rather than relying on one particular friend to help you through your problems, try reaching out to other people too. Maybe join a friendly online community (Rest Less has one) to try new activities or just chat.
- Could you arrange socials at your workplace or join a professional association?
- Perhaps you could become a mentor and share your wisdom with the younger generation.
- Volunteering at the Citizens Advice Bureau or your local hospital.
- Joining a driving club like the Institute of Advanced Motorists – they are active on and off the roads.
Research suggests that, the bigger your network, the happier you’ll feel. So, try to keep this in mind if you meet a sexy new partner and feel tempted to make them the centre of your universe.
5. You can finally make your home your own
“The only time I miss my ex-husband’s input on decorating is when I try to put pictures up. Everything else – including DIY – is easy”
If you’re even slightly wistful that you have to decorate your home without a partner, just visit IKEA on a busy weekend. Watching couples arguing passionately about wardrobe handles should remind you that single life isn’t so bad.
According to an American survey, the average couple has 72 arguments when they’re decorating their house, 10% of which are in front of friends and family. Or, to avoid being the shouty IKEA couple, 58% of people choose not to voice their opinions at all, and instead live forever in a house they don’t like.
Even if you’ve never come to blows over a sofa, decorating your house by yourself can be liberating. Homes are a way to express our personality and what matters to us. So decorating is a chance to define your single identity and shout it from (just underneath) the rooftops.
You might be all ready to go with colour swatches and mood boards. But if you’d like some ideas, check out our guide to inexpensive ways to revamp your house. Or prepare for autumn by reading our tips on making your home cosier.
Easy ways to make your home your own…
- Revamp your downstairs cloakroom. It’s the smallest, and therefore the quickest, room to make over, and everyone will see your hard work.
- Turn your bedroom into a sanctuary. Consider swapping your double bed for a smaller one to fit in more room for other furniture, like a statement armchair.
- Use Feng Shui principles to activate different areas of your life, like your friendship or money corners.
- Create collages of your favourite photos and hang them up where you can see them every day.
- Frame the covers of your favourite albums to celebrate your unique music taste.
- Have your favourite quotes turned into wall art.
And one massive benefit of decorating your home by yourself? If you don’t like it, you can put it all back the way it was before, and absolutely nobody will tut or roll their eyes.
Final thoughts…
We hope this article challenges the common misconception that being single leads to loneliness or dissatisfaction, especially as we age.
As the number of people living alone continues to rise, particularly among older adults, it’s important to recognise and celebrate the benefits of single life. Whether you’re currently single or considering this lifestyle, understanding these benefits can help you navigate your journey with confidence and optimism.
For further reading, check out our articles; 16 ways to improve your confidence and self-esteem and 8 ways to fall in love with your own company.
What unexpected benefits of being single have you found as you’ve got older? Let us know in the comments. We’d love to hear from you.