Self-love and acceptance are important for allowing ourselves to receive love from others. But, for many people, insecurities, past relationships, or a lack of confidence can make the path to self-love tricky.
However, research has found that self-affirmations can help to create long-term, positive changes in how we perceive ourselves.
With that said, here are 16 self-affirmations to remember while searching for love. We’ll also look at how you can go about applying them to your life.
What are self-affirmations?
Self-affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself in order to change your mindset, gain control over your thoughts, and improve your self-esteem and confidence. An example of a self-affirmation could be, “I am perfect just the way I am.”
The idea is that when repeated and practised over time, your brain will learn to accept these statements as the truth – which can have a profound effect on the way you perceive yourself and the world around you.
Do self-affirmations really work?
Some people struggle to believe that repeating a few simple sentences could have any real impact on their life. But there’s significant scientific evidence for the effectiveness of self-affirmations – as long as they’re practised correctly.
Our brains sometimes get a little mixed up between reality and imagination. When it comes to self-affirmations, this is pretty useful. For example, research has shown that creating a fictional, mental image of yourself doing or experiencing something activates many of the same brain areas that actually experiencing these situations would.
Over time, this neurological response makes it possible for a person to accept that whatever they’re affirming, is true. As a result, studies have found that continually practising self-affirmations can have a transformative effect on self-image.
That said, you can’t simply repeat a couple of affirmations here and there and expect to see a big change. Instead, successful self-affirmation requires long-term practise and a conscious effort to truly connect with what you’re saying. We’ll cover this in more depth below.
How should you use self-affirmations?
If self-affirmations are new to you, it’s completely normal to think to yourself, ‘I’ll never believe that’. But, with a little time, practise, and perseverance, you definitely can.
As you begin, try to focus on saying your self-affirmations out loud (or writing them down) as though they’re factual statements – rather than just an opinion. This may feel unnatural to start with, but it’ll become easier once your brain slowly begins to accept the affirmations as truth.
Keeping affirmations short, broad, in the present tense, and picking statements that actually resonate with you, can help to keep you focused and on track.
Below, we have a few other ideas about how you could start introducing self-affirmations into your daily life. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula, so don’t worry if it takes a bit of trial and error to find a method that’s right for you.
1. Record your self-affirmations in a journal
Writing down your affirmations can be a powerful way to connect with the words – and emotions behind them – on a deeper level.
You might like to get into the routine of writing your self-affirmations down every morning or evening (or both!), as this is an easy pattern to follow. Other tricks such as repeating each phrase as you write it down can also help to stir momentum.
For more ideas, check out these self-affirmation journal prompts and ideas for beginners from Annais. Or, if you’d prefer, you could buy a guided positive affirmations journal which contains prompts and inspiration throughout to help stir your thoughts.
You can also read more about the benefits of journaling in our article; The power of journaling as a life habit.
2. Use physical touch to connect with areas of your body that you struggle with
If there’s a particular part of yourself or your body that you find hard to love or accept, using physical touch alongside your self-affirmations can be effective.
If a lack of body confidence is getting in the way of self-love or your ability to open up to others, you could try touching the area that you feel insecure about while affirming it. For instance, you could say, ‘My legs are beautiful’, ‘My skin is radiant’, or ‘I am perfect just the way I am’.
For more tips on feeling comfortable in your own skin, you may find our article, 15 things you can do to start loving and accepting your body, useful.
3. Practise your self-affirmations in front of a mirror
Self-affirmation mirror work involves facing your reflection in the mirror and offering yourself love and appreciation.
Mirror work may feel uncomfortable and strange to begin with, but it’s worth persevering. Research has shown that it can increase confidence and deepen the sense of trust you have in yourself.
Studies suggest that people who practise mirror work find it easier to start awkward conversations (such as asking someone out on a date).
For help on how to get started with mirror work self-affirmations, check out this three-step guide from Well + Good.
4. Tune into self-affirmations with meditation and mindfulness
Mindfulness and meditation are techniques that help you to focus and centre your attention on the present moment – specifically, what you’re thinking and feeling and what’s happening in your current environment.
When it comes to self-affirmations, meditation and mindfulness can help us to properly focus on what we’re affirming and learn to be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings.
You could try reading affirmations aloud before a mindfulness or meditation session, listen to or repeat them to yourself during the session, or simply think about what you’re affirming as you meditate. This three-step guide to using affirmations for meditation from Happier Human offers some useful tips to get started.
You can also read more about what mindfulness involves and how to get started in our own mindfulness guide. Or, you may find it useful to sign up for the weekly 30 minute mindfulness meditation on Rest Less Events.
5. Listen to self-affirmations while you sleep
The most effective time to listen to self-affirmations could be during sleep. This is because during sleep our conscious mind is switched off, but our subconscious mind remains active.
Without the conscious mind there to challenge these thoughts with self-criticism and doubt, the subconscious mind is free to listen to and absorb the affirmations. In fact, according to research, ‘sleep programming’ allows the subconscious mind to form new memories, beliefs, and emotions – and alter existing ones.
Experts recommend listening to affirmations for a minimum of 90 minutes during the first cycle of sleep –
as it’s here that your subconscious is most stimulated. Beyond this, the longer you hear the affirmations, the greater their impact will be on your subconscious mind.
Listening to affirmations during sleep can be a particularly good option if you struggle to fully believe affirmations when you’re awake. To have a go, simply record yourself saying your self-affirmations (on your phone, for example), and then play them as you go to sleep.
6. Set yourself reminders to practise self-affirmation
No matter how much feeling and intent you put into them, self-affirmations will only work if you continually practise them over time.
If you have a busy schedule, it can be useful to dedicate a specific time each day to practising your self-affirmations, in order to keep yourself accountable. If you’re likely to forget, you might like to set yourself reminders too.
16 self-affirmations to remember while searching for love
Below is a list of self-affirmations that are important to remember when searching for love – and for life in general. Each one is followed by an explanation, which will hopefully help you to really tune into its meaning.
1. I am worthy of love
You deserve to be treasured and adored.
2. I am important
You’re just as important, have as much purpose, and deserve as much respect as everyone else around you.
3. I don’t need to change who I am
Be proud of who you are – even the parts of yourself that you feel self-conscious or embarrassed about. You don’t need to hide anything.
4. I am well
External worries do not have the power to consume you.
5. I accept and love myself just the way I am
Have you forgotten how unique and special you are? There’s only one of you on this entire planet.
6. I am at peace with my past
Your past doesn’t define you, nor does it dictate your future.
7. I am more than what my body looks like
Kindness, generosity, dedication, loyalty, and humour – what beautiful traits these are.
8. I have and will overcome all of the challenges I face
You’ve survived every bad day up until now – you’re strong enough to take on today too.
9. I am constantly growing, evolving, and becoming my best self
Every experience offers learning opportunities and growth – even difficult days.
10. I am not defined by my relationship status
You are your own person, with your own hobbies, interests, and passions.
11. I forgive myself
You don’t need to punish yourself for things that you regret – only learn from them.
12. I am full of happiness, joy, and delight
Today, and always, why not decide to choose joy?
13. I love my body and all that it does for me
Remember all the amazing things that your body does for you. From breathing and walking, to keeping your heart pumping every day.
14. I am proud of who I am becoming
Look back on everything that you’ve achieved – even the little everyday things. All these experiences have made you into the person you are today.
15. I am open to seeing myself in a new light
Are you being overly critical of yourself? Why not try speaking to yourself as you would a dear friend?
16. My imperfections are what make me unique
Imperfections are to be celebrated – imagine how boring the world would be if everything and everyone was perfect.
And remember…
None of the affirmations above are about the specific words used. In some ways, it can help to think of these affirmations as guidelines to base your own personal statements on.
If a statement doesn’t quite resonate with you, try changing and adapting the words to meet any circumstance or difficulty you face, or any goal that you’ve set.
How can self-affirmations impact your search for love?
If you’re someone who struggles with low-self esteem or confidence, you may have found that these feelings can sometimes filter into relationships. Often, this can manifest in behaviours such as allowing people to treat you with less respect than you deserve, or not standing up for yourself.
Therefore, when it comes to finding love, self-affirmations can be particularly powerful in reminding us of who we are, the amazing things that we have to offer, and what we deserve from a relationship. Aside from romantic relationships, these affirmations are just as important in friendships, work relationships, and other areas of life.
For more advice and ideas, you might be interested in our article; 19 things to remember while searching for a happy and fulfilling relationship. Alternatively, head over to the dating section of our website for more tips on searching for love.
And, if you’d like to give online dating a go, why not sign up to Rest Less Dating to connect with singles over 50?
Do you use self-affirmations? How has practising self-affirmations benefited your life? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.