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Many people believe they’re not suitable to become foster parents and automatically rule themselves out as a result of factors like marital status, age, and sexuality. But these factors have no bearing on a person’s suitability as a foster carer.
Alongside general requirements like being a full-time UK resident over the age of 21, the best foster parents are those who have empathy, great communication skills, and plenty of patience.
With this in mind, we’ve partnered with Capstone Foster Care to cover some of the most common fostering myths and reveal the truth about who can become a foster parent.
What are the general requirements for becoming a foster carer?
While there are many myths about who can foster – such as those surrounding age and sexual orientation – there are a few general requirements that everybody needs to meet in order to become a foster carer.
For example, foster carers must…
- Be over the age of 21
- Be in good health
- Have a spare bedroom
- Be a full-time resident in the UK (or have leave to remain)
- Have enough free time to support and care for a child or young person.
10 foster care myths debunked
1. I’m too old to become a foster carer
There’s generally no official maximum age limit for being a foster carer. Providing you’re fit, healthy, and able to care for a child or young person, age isn’t a limiting factor.
In fact, it’s common for people to start fostering later in life – for example, after their own children have left home or when they’ve retired.
More mature foster carers also bring considerable work, family, and general life experience and skills that foster children or young people can greatly benefit from. This life experience can also make older foster carers well-versed and well prepared for the role.
Note: Some fostering services may set their own upper age limit but generally, if you can demonstrate experience, dedication, and ability to better a child or young person’s life, age shouldn’t limit you.
2. I need to own my home to become a foster parent
Foster carer’s don’t need to own their own home. Fostering services recognise that whether you have a mortgage or are a private or council tenant, this isn’t linked to your ability to provide a child with a safe, secure, and loving home.
However, where you live will still be an important part of the fostering assessment process. If you live in privately rented accommodation, you’ll need to get your landlord’s permission to go ahead.
But, so long as you can provide a safe and secure environment, and there’s enough space for the child to have their own bedroom, there’s no reason why you can’t be a foster carer.
While there’s no regulatory requirement for foster children under the age of three to have their own bedroom, National Minium Standards states that any child over the age of three should have their own bedroom where physically possible. And the majority of fostering services will require carers to have a spare room available for a child or young person.
If you don’t have a spare bedroom, it may still be possible for you to foster very young children. For example, you could be assessed as a respite carer and take on more temporary foster care duties – for example, for a few hours during the day or for occasional overnight stays.
3. I can’t become a foster carer because I’m unemployed
When it comes to the myth that you can’t foster if you’re unemployed, the reality is that it’s almost the complete opposite! In many cases, being unemployed is actually beneficial to becoming a foster carer because it means the child can be your main focus.
Foster carers have to attend various training sessions, meetings, and appointments which concern the child’s medical and educational needs – all of which require time. As a result, being unemployed itself is generally not considered an issue in the fostering assessment process.
That being said, your financial situation will be considered during the assessment period. Therefore, if your unemployment is linked to other issues, such as debt, this could be an issue.
As a foster carer, you may be entitled to claim certain benefits and tax credits. If you’re already receiving benefits, the fostering allowance shouldn’t affect this as it’s generally disregarded as an income when calculating welfare benefits. However, it’s always worth discussing this with your local authority.
4. I don’t have enough money to look after a child, so I can’t foster
Many people aren’t aware of the fact that fostering has a financial reward. All approved foster carers receive a fostering allowance to cover the extra household costs and general expenses of caring for a child. So you don’t have to worry about meeting the costs from your own pocket.
The minimum payment is usually between £137 and £240 per week – though the total amount will depend on various factors like where you live, the child’s age, and the fostering service you use. Many fostering services also pay a weekly fee to reward you for your time and skill, this can vary according to the level of support your foster child needs.
You can read more about the fostering allowance on the Capstone Foster Care website, including information on tax and benefits.
5. My marital status will affect my ability to foster
There’s no requirement for foster carers to be married. You can be married, single, in a civil partnership, separated, divorced, living together, and so on.
Many people also believe that you can’t foster as a single parent. But in fact, both single men and women are welcomed and encouraged to become foster carers.
Naturally, being a single foster parent may take more energy as you won’t have someone to help share the load, but it’s still completely possible. Remember, you’ll still have plenty of support from the foster care agency around you and also from your wider family and friendship groups.
You can learn more about single parent fostering in this guide from Capstone Foster Care.
6. I need to have had my own children to become a foster parent
To become a foster carer, you’ll need some level of experience with children, but this doesn’t have to be through having your own children.
While being a parent is a valuable way to demonstrate experience with children, there are plenty of other ways too – for example, through volunteering, work, or caring for someone else’s children.
7. My sexual orientation and gender identity mean I can’t foster
A person’s sexual orientation or gender identity has no bearing on their ability to provide a safe and happy home to a child or young person. So these factors should never be a barrier to becoming a foster carer. Quite the opposite in fact, as gay and lesbian people are actively encouraged to become foster carers.
The same applies for religion, race, and ethnicity. Of all the components that are required for successful foster care, these factors aren’t on the list.
To get inspired, you might like to read some of the personal story of same-sex foster care couple Christian and Chris on the Capstone Foster Care website. Or for more general information, check out Capstone Foster Care’s LGBT fostering myth busting.
8. I work full-time so I can’t foster
Many people wonder if they have a full-time job, can they still foster? In short, this will depend on certain factors.
For single parents, fostering while working full-time may not always be possible. You’ll have to evaluate your working hours and fostering commitment because, as well as providing a safe and loving home to a foster child, you’ll also need to available for various meetings – for example, with your social worker, at the child’s school, and so on.
However, if your fostering role only requires you to foster for a set period time, it’s possible to have a full-time job outside of fostering. An example of this would be if you provide respite care, because you’ll know when your fostering services are needed in advance.
There’s also a bit more flexibility if you foster as a couple because one of you could always be there for the children while the other is away from home at work. Though, it’s worth noting that fostering itself acts as a full-time job, so you should take time to consider each of your own commitments to decide which approach to fostering would be best for you.
Capstone Foster Care also has a detailed guide on fostering and working full-time.
9. I have a disability so I can’t foster
Fostering with a disability is entirely possible, but will ultimately depend on the nature of your condition. For example, fostering agencies will consider whether your disability would restrict your ability to care for a child or young person, or affect your own physical and mental wellbeing.
Any disabilities will be taken into account during the fostering assessment process. The child’s welfare is always the number one priority, so if your disability means that their needs wouldn’t be met – whether from a physical, emotional, or educational standpoint – this could affect your ability to foster.
However, generally, if you’re able to perform typical everyday activities and attend necessary meetings, you disability shouldn’t prevent you from fostering.
It’s important to inform your fostering agency of any disabilities that you have as early as possible. This will help them to best advise you on how to proceed with your application and to give you an initial realistic viewpoint of whether fostering could be an option.
10. I have pets so I can’t foster
A common misconception is that you won’t be able to become a foster carer if you own a pet. This is, however, a complete myth. Not only does having pets not prevent you from fostering, but it can actually be seen as a positive factor – largely because pets can be an asset to a foster family and encourage positive behaviour.
In order to foster with pets, there are a few simple guidelines that you’ll need to follow. These include things like making sure that all pets are healthy (regularly wormed, for example), kept under control, and that feeding bowls and litter trays are out of reach of children.
Naturally, because every pet and every child is different, any pets that you have will need to be part of the fostering assessment process, which will take into account factors like the pet’s behaviour and temperament – and of course, the child’s relationship with animals in general. If they have a strong fear of dogs, then of course, it’d be unlikely this child would be assigned to you on foster placement.
For more information on how fostering with pets can be beneficial to young children, head over to the Capstone Foster Care website.
Final thoughts…
Fostering is one of the most fulfilling and rewarding jobs that you can do, and one of the best ways to directly influence and better a young person’s life.
We hope that we’ve managed to debunk some of the common fostering myths in this article and shown that, in reality, fostering can be for everyone.
If you’re interested in fostering and would like to learn more, head over to the Capstone Foster Care website.