If you lose your job, want to start your own business or have your hours reduced it can put a strain on your finances and your relationship.
It’s not uncommon for one – or even both – partners to be made redundant, go part-time or to decide to go it alone. It means that the financial habits you established when you got together may not work anymore. You may have different expectations about what you want from your money and have less (or more) money in your budget.
Common reasons for change
Everyone’s situation is unique but there may be common triggers that mean you have to rethink what you do with your money.
Just as your relationship will have its ups and downs, so will your relationship with money. And even if you keep your money quite separate, what you choose to do with your cash is likely to affect them in some way.
Perhaps:
- You or your partner has changed jobs. It could mean you’re earning a lot more or a lot less than you were a few years ago.
- You or your partner has given up work altogether. Maybe you planned to go back to work after having children and have changed your mind.
- You or your partner would like to start their own business.
- Your spending has been creeping up in a key area. You could have bought an expensive car; your mortgage deal might have come to an end or you might be spending more on living costs and not realised just how much more.
- You might have got behind with your credit card or loan repayments.
If you start spending more money or indulging in secretive spending or not recognising that changes in your circumstances may mean there’s less money to spend, resentment can build. Then, you’ll have two problems to deal with; the original issue over your finances and the damage it’s caused your relationship.
If one of you wants to give up work
If you decide to stop working perhaps, for example, because you need to care for elderly parents, it’s normally expected that your other half will support you. But what happens if you want to stop work so you can retrain or do something completely different?
If you’re unhappy in your current job, your plans for a change will probably be welcomed by your spouse or partner. No-one wants to see someone they love doing a job they don’t enjoy or worse, one that actually makes them feel depressed. But they may be concerned about the financial implications for both of you.
Your plans mean your income will take quite a drop, or even disappear altogether and your partner is bound to feel the financial pressure. They may feel that it’s down to them whether or not the bills get paid and may even resent the fact that you’ve been able to pursue your dream while they can’t.
Action plan
Try these steps to help you get back in control.
- Work out exactly how much money you’ll have coming in and how easy it will be to live on your reduced income. Read our article Budgeting if your income has reduced to find out more.
- If you’re the one who’s planning to retrain, get as much information as you can about financial support, how long you’ll have to study for and what the likelihood is that you’ll get a job at the end of it. It’s like drawing up a mini-business plan.
If one of you wants to start a business
Starting a business can also signal a massive change in lifestyle for both of you: the one with the business will probably be eating, living and breathing it, while the other may find they end up doing more of the chores or childcare, or both.
It’s also likely to affect how much you have coming in and the predictability of that income. Starting your own business requires real bravery and you (and your partner) shouldn’t underestimate that.
Action plan
Starting a business needs more than a winning idea. You have to think about what you’ll live on before your business makes money.
Don’t give away secrets to those you don’t trust but run your ideas past trusted friends and family – and listen to their feedback. It’s easy to get carried away but if you can’t make money from your idea, it’s not a business.
Most successful business owners have taken risks to start or expand their business, but you should be aware of the worst case scenario and limit your financial exposure (for example, don’t rush to remortgage your home or to put it up as a guarantee if there are other options.)
Do plenty of research into exactly what’s involved. Our guides A complete guide to self-employment and Business ideas that you can start from home might come in handy.
Finally…
Whatever your financial situation now, remember that things can – and often do – change suddenly.
It’s therefore worth sitting down with your partner and discussing how you currently manage your money together, and what you would do if you were suddenly faced with a curveball. Read our article 10 conversations to have with your partner about money to explore some of the issues you might want to address with each other.