The wedding day looms, but there are still a few issues

August 11, 2023

This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.


Becoming the Mother of the Bride (MOB) is a remarkable chapter in a woman’s life. While advice from friends who have experienced this role before is valuable, the journey is ultimately a unique and personal one. It’s a time when a mother dons her tiara of wisdom, delicately balancing support with enthusiasm for her daughter’s special wedding day.

In my case, my youngest daughter, an adept events planner, ensures a seamless wedding process, reducing my direct involvement. Yet, the MOB role demands offering suggestions without attachment and embracing joy when the bride embraces your ideas.

The Budget

Amid the whirlwind, the initial budget often dissipates like confetti in the wind. Unforeseen last-minute purchases punctuate the journey, leaving me marvelling at the costs incurred. The term ‘wedding day’ seems to magically add a nought to every price tag.

The Flowers

As the MOB, I’ve been tasked, along with the Mother of the Groom (MOG), with adorning the bar. No, this isn’t an invitation to lounge provocatively; it involves adorning the bar’s interior shelves with flowers and herbs. I’m embracing my inner Constance Spry, eager to infuse the space with creativity and beauty.

A minor panic ensued when the Vicar vetoed the use of dried rose petal confetti. Even the organic variant we’d procured was not acceptable. A creative solution emerged: dried rose confetti outside the church gates, while within, wedding bubbles would add a whimsical touch. The discovery of wedding bubbles as a trend was delightful. It was reminiscent of childhood joy. Though now I must be cautious not to mar my attire before formal photographs are taken.

Mother of the Bride’s hair and hat

wedding day

In the midst of the bustling wedding preparations, one detail had been causing me a considerable amount of concern, the hat. I had chosen a hat to complement my elegant mother-of-the-bride dress. Its wide brim and intricate ribbon detail were undeniably stunning. However, they presented a challenge when it came to my hairstyle. I was determined to find the perfect balance. So I embarked on a mission to find a haircut that would seamlessly harmonize with the hat. After consulting with my trusted hairstylist, we settled on a chic shoulder-length bob, its graceful curves allowing the hat to perch just right. As I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, a sense of relief washed over me – my hair and hat were no longer competing for attention but rather dancing together in a harmonious celebration of this joyous occasion.

Father of the Bride’s suit

A more significant dilemma unfolded. This was when the Father of the Bride’s (FOB) custom-made suit from India failed to fit during the U.K. fitting. With merely four weeks left, a hasty reassessment ensued. The decision to opt for a cream suit was met with concerns about potential spills. Rain cagoules, while practical, might not align with the desired aesthetic.

The Diet

Meanwhile, SOB introduced us to a rigorous pre-wedding gut cleanse — comprising vegetables, seeds, pulses, fruit, and occasional fish. Anticipation of the big day mingles with visions of devouring the five designated canapés per person. The prospect of reuniting with real sustenance leads to daydreams of intercepting waiters’ trays, hastily indulging before the main event.

The FOB’s speech

Amidst the flurry of wedding preparations, there’s a pivotal moment that awaits: the Father of the Bride’s speech. While the countdown continues, there’s a palpable sense of anticipation as FOB contemplates the words he’ll soon share. The Bride is nervous, and to be honest, so am I. The speech, a heartfelt tribute to his daughter’s journey and the love that binds them, is a labour of love that’s yet to be written but undoubtedly etched in his heart. As FOB practices the lines he’s yet to pen, there’s a unique blend of nervousness and pride that encapsulates this significant task. Soon, his words will resonate through the air, reminding us all of the deep connection between father and daughter.

In the end

MOB (in tiara) & FOB

It has all been a learning curve, and the role of Mother of the Bride is one which I have yet to master. It is a dance between tradition and innovation, between offering suggestions and letting go, and between unexpected surprises and anticipated celebrations. It’s a unique journey that reveals not just the complexities of wedding planning but also the beauty of familial bonds and the intricate tapestry of emotions that come with this momentous occasion.

For more tales from the Mother of the Bride, click HERE.

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