7 tips for coping with stress and anxiety

There are a number of reasons why you might be experiencing stress or anxiety. The most important thing is to work out how to manage these feelings, so that you can minimise their impact on your quality of life. Often the first step can be to acknowledge your feelings, so that you can understand what is happening and take the appropriate course of action to start feeling better.

What is stress?

At present, there is no medical definition of stress but it tends to be a feeling that people get when they are feeling overloaded or unable to cope with the demands we face. Our bodies and minds tend to respond to these feelings, by showing symptoms such as:
  • Muscle tension
  • Headaches or dizziness
  • Indigestion
  • Problems sleeping
  • Irritability
  • Constant worrying
  • Eating too much or too little
  • Feeling tearful or crying

What is anxiety?

When we feel anxious, we tend to feel tense, worried or nervous. Sometimes this anxiety doesn’t have a clear trigger and we may simply feel this way about everyday tasks. Other times, this anxiety may be related to specific things that are about to happen or that might happen in the future. Anxiety is a natural human response when we perceive that we may be under threat. Our bodies release hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which:
  • make our hearts beat faster to pump blood to where it’s needed most in case we need to respond to the threat.
  • make us feel more alert so that we can act faster.
Once we perceive that the threat is over, our muscles relax again, after which you may feel extra-tired and shaky. It’s normal to experience anxiety occasionally e.g. if we’re going through a stressful situation or adjusting to a big change, but if those feelings of anxiety become particularly strong and are lasting a long time, then they can start to have a significant impact on your mental health. Symptoms of anxiety include:
  • Tiredness
  • Feeling sick
  • Shortness of breath
  • Excessive sweating
  • Pins and needles
  • Restlessness
  • Feeling “on edge”
  • A sense of dread

7 tips to help you cope with stress and anxiety

1. Focus your mind on the present

Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, have a lot on your mind or you’re worried about the future. Whatever your reason for feeling stressed or anxious, it can really help to bring your mind back to the present moment. Many of us struggle with this, especially when life gets busy – it can be all too easy to spend our time rushing around and planning our next step, rather than focusing on what currently is.

One of the most effective ways at bringing your full attention to the present is by practicing mindfulness – a tool designed to help you have greater awareness of your feelings, sensations and surroundings in any given moment e.g. sights, smells, sounds, tastes etc. For example, do you ever just stop and focus on the breath entering and leaving your body? Or how often do you stop and appreciate each mouthful of your dinner, rather than absentmindedly eating whilst watching TV or thinking about something else? Often the reason we feel stressed or anxious is because we feel like we have a lack of control, and mindfulness can help you to feel calmer and more in control of your body and your thoughts. This makes it much easier to enjoy and appreciate the little things that we often ignore in everyday life, rather than worrying about the future.

2. Do something active

When you feel stressed or anxious, it may be that the last thing that you want to do is put on your gym clothes and head to the gym or go for a long walk – maybe because you don’t feel that you have the time, or perhaps because you simply want to curl up and hide from the world. But it’s important to keep in mind that exercise is just as good for our minds, as it is our bodies. It can affect the chemical balance of our hormones by reducing cortisol levels (the hormone responsible for anxiety) and stimulating the production of endorphins, the chemicals in the brain responsible for feelings of optimism and relaxation. Research has shown that physical activity can help us to combat racing thoughts, improve our self-esteem and help us to sleep better, all of which contribute to greater wellbeing.

Doing something active simply means moving more. This doesn’t have to involve doing something overly strenuous if you’re really not up for it. It could include anything from doing some gardening, to playing with your dog through to going for a gentle swim. You will know your limits and what you’re capable of, but the key thing is to try and overcome any thoughts telling you that the solution is to stay at home at hide. Convince yourself that you’ll feel better if you don’t, and hopefully you will!

3. Challenge negative thoughts

When our mood is suffering, it’s not uncommon for us to have lots of negative thoughts. These could be things like “I can’t cope” or “I’m so useless” or “I’m a failure.” First and foremost, please try to remember that these are merely thoughts – thoughts will pass, and are no reflection on you, or your future.

There are two common ways that we can think about and label negative thoughts so that we can spot them and challenge them. The first type of thought can be described as Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs). These are thoughts like those listed above, that make you feel bad about yourself and are self-sabotaging. They often pop into our heads uninvited and are very critical. The other type of negative thinking that is very common is catastrophizing, which can lead us to look at the future with a negative lense and always predict the worst outcome, for example “I’m never going to get a job” or “I’m not going to be able to pay my mortgage” or “I can’t go. What if no one likes me?”

It’s helpful to identify when we are entering into either of these negative thought patterns, so that we can challenge these thoughts, rather than simply accepting them. Whenever you have a negative thought, take a moment to consider whether it’s accurate and how you would feel if a friend spoke about themselves or their situation in this way. Chances are, you wouldn’t agree with them – you would offer them reassurance and advice. If you can be kind to others in this way, then you can also be kind to yourself. Try to think about how you would view yourself and your own situation if you were being positive. Ask yourself, “what’s the best thing that could happen?” and “what are the good things that I’ve done today?” Often we can get so used to being down on ourselves that it becomes the norm, but once we start to challenge this norm we can see that there are other ways of thinking about things, and that our thoughts are changeable.

Our article, How to learn the skill of optimism, offers some useful tips on how to find small positives and new opportunities – even when things get tough.

4. Help someone else

Oddly, many of us find it hard to help ourselves, but much easier to lend a hand to someone else. Research has shown on many occasions that helping others can help to give us a feeling of reward and a sense of purpose, which can boost our mood. It is also possible that while we are busy helping someone else, we are so focussed on that person, that we simply don’t have time to spend time stressing and worrying about our own lives.

The way that you choose to help someone else is entirely up to you e.g. you could try volunteering for a charity, helping a friend with a problem or running an errand for a neighbour. Helping others is also a great way to make new connections, and strengthen old ones.

Try to find a way of helping others that fits easily into your life and suits you. If you can do this, then chances are you will feel compelled to do it more often, and the more you do, the better you may feel.

5. Steer clear of unhealthy habits

Attempts to deal with stress and anxiety can be either helpful or harmful. Many people find that unhealthy habits spiral out of control when used as a coping mechanism e.g. you may start smoking or drinking more, eating too many sugary or fatty foods or regularly sleeping until lunchtime. Whilst these things may make you feel better for a few minutes or a few hours, in the long run, they can make you feel both mentally and physically worse.

Although it can be really hard, it’s much better to find other ways to deal with your feelings. For example, rather than staying at home with a take-away and letting your mind run wild, why not invite a friend round and cook something from scratch? Or if you’re struggling to get out of bed in the morning because you’re feeling overwhelmed, then you could try starting your morning with something that you look forward to and that could alleviate some stress – like a brisk morning walk with your dog.

What we want, and what we need, can be two very different things, so try to recognise which habits could actually be making your stress and anxiety worse over the long term.

6. Connect with others

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Stress and anxiety can sometimes trick us into thinking that it’s better to shut out the world and dwell on our negative thoughts. And although it can be difficult to force ourselves out the front door or away from our work and into the arms of a friend or family member – we often feel better once we do.

Connecting with others has many benefits, including helping us feel less alone, taking our mind off the things that worry us and giving us the chance to have a laugh! When we talk to others, we also tend to realise that everyone has worries and stresses, which can help to put your own issues into perspective. So next time you’re not feeling great and you’re preparing for a night in alone, make a conscious effort to pick up the phone and talk to friend or family member, or invite them over. Humans are social creatures, who aren’t designed to go through life alone – so it’s okay to reach out.

7. Spend more time with your pet

Animals are great stress relievers and can offer an escape from the stresses and strains of everyday life. If you’ve ever had a particularly bad day and you’ve been greeted at the front door by a wagging tail, then you’ll know that they can make you temporarily forget whatever you were worrying about. The amazing thing about pets is that they tend to love you unconditionally. They know nothing about what job you do, or whether you paid your bills on time – they just want to be loved, cuddled (and for dogs, walked, which can be great for you too!).

Stress and anxiety can cause us to hone in on problems so much that we may overlook the really great things in our lives – like our pets! Try putting negative thoughts to one side and spending some more time with your pet – walking, playing or cuddling. You’ll be glad you did, and so will they!

If you don’t have a pet, but you’ve been thinking about getting one, then you might find it helpful to read our article; 10 benefits of owning a pet.

And finally…

It’s important to be able to recognise when your stress or anxiety is becoming too much for you to manage on your own. Sometimes it may be enough to sit down with a trusted friend or family member and talk through your feelings, but other times it may not be.

If you find that you are struggling to cope, then you should book an appointment with your GP, who can talk you through the options available to you. For stress related to your work, it’s also worth sitting down with your employer and letting them know how you’re feeling, as they may be able to help you.

You could also try contacting a charity like the Samaritans or the Silver Line, who are available to answer your calls 24/7, everyday of the year. They won’t judge or tell you what to do – they’ll simply listen to you for as long as you need. If you feel uncomfortable speaking on the phone or you’re worried about being overheard, you can always send Samaritans an email instead and they’ll respond to you within 24 hours.

Did you find this page helpful? Have you found other ways to cope with stress and anxiety? We’d love to hear your suggestions at [email protected] or on the community forum.

Links with an * by them are affiliate links which help Rest Less stay free to use as they can result in a payment or benefit to us. You can read more on how we make money here.

18 thoughts on “7 tips for coping with stress and anxiety

  1. Avatar
    Elaine on Reply

    Really helpful article – especially the negative thoughts and how to deal with them. In these difficult times when we have so much time to think it has been very difficult at times to deal with the whole situation.

  2. Avatar
    Polly on Reply

    I agree a useful article but perhaps it could have detailed a few activities with examples e g. Yoga, pilates , tennis, book groups etc.

  3. Avatar
    Jarison Criscuolo on Reply

    I would like some help, I live alone and suffer regular noise and banging/knocking in the small hours and early morning.

    My spirit is diminished and I have become angry and consumed in life with the rental people next door, who are antagonistic and challenging………previous years, I have had 5 police references for anti social behaviour, criminal damage to my car on my drive, threats of violence etc

    I have waves of sadness; my Mum died 6 months ago, I never had anytime with her because of a controlling aggressive father wouldn’t let her out of his site.
    He is also dead thank God, two days before my Mum, glad he is gone.

    I have no family apart from an estranged daughter of 32 and a violent aggressive brother, who was massively aggressive at the bedside of my dying mother in hospital.

    I have three good friends, but cant shake the emptiness my Mum has left within me.

    1. Avatar
      Helen on Reply

      Good afternoon Jarison

      I was so sorry to hear of your situation. It sounds as though life has delivered you lots of challenges, all at once and that can sometimes leave us not knowing what to tackle first. Have you had an opportunity to speak to a professional? The NHS have a comprehensive list of support services, which could be a good starting point. If you are able to work with someone privately, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy have a comprehensive list of accredited professionals specialising across a wide range of specialisms.

      You will, no doubt, be grieving the loss of your Mum and there are a number of places that can offer support specifically with grief. You can browse services offered via the NHS using this location search. The charity Cruse specialises in bereavement support and Sue Ryder have an active community, where you can connect with others who may be able to offer support and understanding. The Samaritans offer a listening ear 24/7 and you can call them on 116 123.

      It may feel overwhelming at the moment, but by asking for some help, you’ve taken your first, challenging step. Please do make contact with one (or some) of the organisations outlined.

      I wish you well.

      Helen at Team Rest Less

  4. Avatar
    Medalla on Reply

    Team rest are very helpful and reading regarding anxiety and stress is good and I learned the lesson how to control my feelings . Thank you very much.

  5. Avatar
    Wendy on Reply

    Hi I have just signed up and always wonder if I have done the right thing. Reading through I can see Team Rest Less really do care and offer support! So I am definitely going to look more into what’s on offer. Thank you 🙏

    1. Avatar
      Mark Hughes on Reply

      Hi Wendy, thanks for your comment and I’m glad that you can see we genuinely care about helping our members. I hope that you’ll continue to enjoy what we do! Thanks, Mark.

  6. Avatar
    Anna on Reply

    Thank you, I believe in Fate and I have found you at the right time. I have alot going on in my live, just from signing up at the weekend, I have learnt so much, and got great tips.
    Thank you

    1. Avatar
      Mark Hughes on Reply

      Hi Anna, thank you very much for your kind message. It means a lot to our small team when we hear feedback like this. We’re very happy to hear that you are finding what we do useful, thank you for commenting and letting us know!

      Mark at Team Rest Less

      1. Avatar
        sarah on

        thankyou so much , i suffer with extreme anxiety but it’s always good to hear i’m not alone and that people are now recognising what it is , it’s very debilitating and hard to control , thankyou for your support and understanding,

  7. Avatar
    Suzanne Gross on Reply

    I have just made the decision to stop working. I have been suffering with a lot of back and neck problems due to a heavy working environment. I haven’t been sleeping due to worrying about my job and felt my health was deteriorating gradually. It’s a frightening time as I still need an income but I’m taking some time out to reassess and look at my options. I found your site through Facebook. It’s already giving me hope that I can move on and there will be something out there for me. Thank you.

    1. Avatar
      Helen on Reply

      Hi Suzanne. Thank you for leaving such a heart-felt comment. I’m glad that the Rest Less site is proving to be a source of hope and support while you go through this re-evaluation period. Wishing you well.

  8. Avatar
    Larry Wilson on Reply

    I found the link really helpful. The current climate has made the issue of stress all the more difficult for most people.
    I think the living in the present and appreciating what you have at that moment with the environment you are in or with the people around you was probably the most pertinent for me. I have tried to develop my own mindfulness over a number of years and developing a sense of wellbeing through being thankful is very helpful.

    An additional aspect of stress management for me is listening more than talking. It seems we live in an era where everyone has to have a definitive view on everything instantly. By truly engaging in conversation where we listen to each other and formulate ideas based on others input and concluding that from time to time we may not actually have a sensible view on a specific issue is very liberating.

    Thank you for the article

  9. Avatar
    Rob Brennan on Reply

    There’s a lot of anxiety in the population at the moment for obvious reasons and with the fallout of the pandemic there will be a lot of job loss driving more anxiety. On the Mental Health UK website they list Anxiety as having a wide spectrum of disorders ranging from GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) through phobias to PTSD. A lot of these (but not all) will have past negative events driving them so these would need to be addressed but what also happens is that we will develop behavioural coping patterns which drive and reinforce them. This is why learning to change these patterns is so important and the resources here on Rest Less are a gold mine towards achieving some semblance of peace and equanimity. Take time to study them, find the exercises that resonate and begin the process. It will be worth it

  10. Avatar
    Dorrele Morgan on Reply

    Having gone through a serious illness in April and spending 4 months in Hospital I am grateful to have made a decent recovery and am now trying to take it one day at a time. At the same time I am trying to fulfil my dreams and wishes with one eye on the future but hopefully in a gentle way by trying to eliminate stress and anxiety. I have a passion for art which I am very good at. Not only do I enjoy it but it also serves as therapy which is a two way street. I am so glad I found Restless with their useful information and contact. The proof is in the pudding. Thank you so much.

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