Bull, bear and kitchenware

July 29, 2017

This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.

Sometimes we women have a fleeting moment of “What on earth should I do now?” It’s probably a rare occurrence for most but it does occasionally happen. The past business enterprise has been successfully put to bed, alongside waving the children off to new beginnings (where they should ‘stay put’, hopefully). The garden has been weeded to an inch of its life and the dog’s been walked around the village twice already that day. A third circuit would look like stalking. This is the moment that my friend Vanessa remembers, looking around her kitchen thinking, “Ok …. what’s next?”


Her eyes alighted on the Aga. She’d inherited this beast with the house. She’d never felt she could summon up that evangelical enthusiasm that others had for them. I positively loathe them, having been scarred for life attaching my arms onto the white hot shelves. Deciding to ‘look them up’ she found out everything that there was to know about Aga and their business. She obviously liked what she saw and bought shares in Aga at the kitchen table, where all great decisions are made. Aga was subsequently bought by an American company, making my friend a hefty profit. Now she likes Aga as much, if not more, than other Aga enthusiasts.

Moving around the kitchen from the Aga was her dog bed. This got her mind thinking about the dog’s lovely vet and so onto the practice and then the company that ran the practice … is there nothing that will stop this girl’s thought process? CVS Group is the largest veterinary group in the UK. Over 410 practices nationwide apparently… who would have known? Well, my friend did actually as she had ‘looked them up’. She invested some money in CVS alongside Metro bank, “ignoring their P/E, I bought some of their shares too” as they are so considerate to visiting dogs, supplying dog bowls of water in every branch.

Both companies are currently doing very well on the stock market. Good choice. Her portfolio was expanding as well as her profits. Excellent morning’s work.

Above the dog bed is the drinks trolley. It is in Vanessa’s kitchen anyway. She looked at the gin and vodka bottles. Who made the mixers? Fever Tree is frightfully popular at the moment. Marvellous …. Fever Tree was investigated thoroughly. She bought shares in Fever Tree. Fever Tree responded by tripling its share price. This girl’s on fire!

My friend is now trading rather successfully from her kitchen table. Much more conveniently situated than the Stock Exchange. She has learnt to ‘skim off’ her profits and reinvest and has become an avid reader of all things financially related. She cannot possibly weed the garden till the markets close, and that goes for the dog walks too. She’s far too busy dealing! Her personal portfolio is doing a darn sight better than her own stock broker’s performance as she’s up by 35% on two years ago and 25% on this year. Credit where credit’s due, guys! Three cheers for my friend! Hip hip….

I’m terribly excited with her investment strategy. But has she completely exhausted her kitchen’s potential? Are we quite sure that the Belfast sink hasn’t something undiscovered in its hidden depths? Will she move onto her drawing room or the dining room next? Stick to the ground floor or venture out? There’s bound to be something lurking in the garden shed! Maybe potter upstairs to the bedrooms and then onto the bathrooms?

Goodness…  decisions, decisions. Her house is one huge minefield of potential investment. Too exciting for words!



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