This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.
Steep learning curve in the new role and suffer brain overload on a regular basis – have days of massive self doubt and days when I feel I’m soaring but just loving it. Have amazing colleagues and so far so good – ludicrous hours but when you’re enjoying it, it’s not a chore. So long long may it continue.
Have seen my darling children so much since I moved back – youngest especially – I think have seen them more in the last 4 weeks than the last 4 months and though he would never admit to it, at a strapping 6 ft, he is still so snuggly and cuddly and I just love having him around although I am being eaten out of house and home !!!
Relations with ex continue to fluctuate but have stabilised recently. We did have a massive flare up at the beginning of the month when he told me he was going on a golfing break which is fair enough but when I asked a couple of fairly innocent questions as to where he was going he admitted he was actually taking ‘Fluff’ away for a week to Marrakesh! Ok I got angry – firstly because he actually just lied to my face that he was going to Portugal but secondly – why are men so crap??? We had planned to go to Marrakesh for my last birthday that we were together. I remember sitting with him showing him various pictures of Rhiads and him grunting and occasionally moaning as I tried calculating prices. He did this last summer as well, took the children to a hotel I had done all the research on for a family trip. He is doing my head in, has he no imagination? Can he not think for himself?? It was probably wise we never took that last romantic holiday a deux as I have no idea what we would have talked about. So now he’s off a deuxing with HER!!!
Anyway despite all this I am happy and in a good place, feeling more settled than in a long while and I have made the new place home and, despite protestations from my new land lord, had my dog to stay while ex and fluff cavorted in Marrakesh! Long walks and plenty of dog love have helped blow away cobwebs and despite the temperatures, tiny buds are assuring me that Spring will come and there is life after bleak spells!!!
BFF also came to stay to help keep spirits lifted and spirits were consumed ! Had children as well so house full ,well fed and much laughter!
Another date from the still loathed dating website, actually a very nice chap – attractive and great conversation. He asked to see me again but now after 2 weeks I have realised that is probably NOT going to happen – think he’s a bit of a player working his way around a lot of women but I am not that bothered this time but just happy I had a nice night out.
BFF and I have also been away for a weekend in glorious sunshine ,24 degrees whilst it snowed at home – it was bliss to sit in cafes and people watch. I think that one day lunch consisted of a jug of Sangria and a bowl of olives!!! Champagne and massages, shopping and great company – life doesn’t get much better and I am now in a good place and realising that surprisingly after 20 years I do not need a man in my life to make me happy, although I did meet a remarkably gorgeous man from Harrogate who made the heart flutter a bit and certainly bolstered my confidence!
I think my sparkle is glimmering just a teeny bit and who knows – one day I may be back on full form. When you next see a glimmer on the horizon it may not just be that sun that we are all missing, in all its spring time glory – it may just be me starting to glow again with the joys of life!!