For many, Christmas is a time to get together with friends and family. But, for others, it can be a lonely period.
This could be for many reasons. Perhaps you have a demanding work schedule, are grieving the loss of someone special, or have recently been through a divorce. Other reasons why people feel lonely at Christmas include: being single, losing a job, being estranged from family, or not having any family or friends nearby.
If any of this sounds familiar, and you’re worried about feeling isolated over the festive period, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are plenty of people affected by loneliness, even if they don’t talk about it.
Although dealing with feelings of loneliness isn’t always easy – especially during the holidays – there are a few things you can do to make the festive season feel more manageable – whether you’re looking for something to do on Christmas Day or ongoing activities throughout December.
From volunteering for a charity to connecting with loved ones virtually, here are six tips that might help.
You might also find comfort in joining the free virtual Christmas Eve lunch club on Rest Less Events. You can drop in from four pm to enjoy some company, conversation, Christmas readings, and singing. It’s a great way to connect with others at Christmas time.
1. Treat yourself
Just because you’re spending Christmas without friends or family this year, that doesn’t mean you can’t make the most of it. Consider putting up some Christmas decorations anyway, cooking yourself a meal you love, and, if you can afford to, treating yourself to a couple of presents.
Tradition dictates that Christmas is made magical by roast dinners and family gatherings, but there are plenty of other ways you can make the time special.
Perhaps you’ve worked hard this year and haven’t had much time off. In this case, the Christmas period could give you the relaxing break you need. Or, maybe you rarely have time to cook or bake, in which case, why not make the festive period a time to indulge a little? You can find plenty of ideas in our article: 12 Christmas recipe ideas to bring festive cheer to your kitchen.
Most of us spend the majority of our year focusing our time and energy on other people, and it can be rare for us to get the chance to sit down and reflect on our own wants and needs. So, if you’re spending Christmas alone, try to use it as an opportunity to have some ‘me time’, where you can choose exactly what you want to do, without pressure or expectations from others.
2. Connect with loved ones virtually
If you usually spend Christmas with friends and family but are unable to this year, you could still arrange to meet virtually on a video or phone call.
While this may not be a substitute for being together in person, it’ll still allow you to hear each other’s voices, express your love and well wishes, and spread some Christmas cheer. If you plan on connecting with loved ones via video call, why not arrange to eat your Christmas dinner together while you chat or catch up over a coffee or mulled wine?
Alternatively, if you know a few other people who’ll also be spending Christmas by themselves, you could organise a virtual Christmas party where you all get together to wish each other Merry Christmas and share how your day’s going.
If you want to prepare for any virtual festivities by learning how to use video calling platforms, why not read our article, How to video call your friends and family, or check out our upcoming event on getting the most out of Zoom?
3. Volunteer
Volunteering to help others over the Christmas period can be a fulfilling way to give something back while easing feelings of loneliness. The gift of giving doesn’t have to be exclusive to people that we know and love, and there are many different ways to make a difference this year.
Here are a few examples of how you could volunteer your time…
Befriend an elderly person over the phone
You could consider joining a telephone befriending service.
Befrienders offer a lifeline of friendship to lonely or isolated elderly people in the UK by committing to spend time swapping stories and offering support for a few hours every week or month.
Age UK and Re-engage are examples of charities that run this sort of service. Their websites will give you more details about what to expect and how to apply.
However, it’s important to note that this is nearly always an ongoing commitment – not just something done over the Christmas period.
Volunteer for Crisis
Homeless charity Crisis relies on the kindness of volunteers to help provide hot meals, somewhere to sleep, and hope to thousands of homeless people across the UK over the festive season.
If you’re interested in making a difference, it’s worth checking out their website to find out whether any help is needed in your local area.
To learn more, check out our article: What’s it like to volunteer for Crisis at Christmas?
Volunteer for Shout
24/7 crisis text service Shout offers people somewhere to turn if they’re struggling to cope and need some immediate help. It’s run by a team of amazing volunteers who keep the service running around the clock – even over the Christmas period.
To find out more about what Shout volunteers do and get details on how to apply, you can visit their website.
There are also many other ways that you can give back over the Christmas period and into the new year – all from the comfort of your own home. Have a read of our article on online volunteering for some more ideas. Or check out the volunteering section of our website.
4. Wrap up warm and go for a walk
If you’re feeling lonely this Christmas, often one of the most helpful things you can do is to go for a walk. To make the most of your time spent outside, you could even bring a warm drink and something to listen to.
If you’re grappling with negative thoughts, going out for a walk can help you to get out of your head for a while and feel part of something bigger. You might notice others going for a solo walk, and hopefully, you won’t feel quite so lonely.
Often, our thoughts seem clearer when we step out for some fresh air, and getting closer to nature can help us feel calmer and more relaxed. Plus, there’s something extra special about going for a walk on Christmas Day because the streets are quiet and peaceful, which can make a refreshing change.
If you’ve never tried mindfulness before, this could also be a good time to give it a go because it’ll help you learn how to focus your attention on your surroundings and body – which is great for breaking negative thought patterns. Our introductory guide to mindfulness will show you how to get started.
We also run a variety of mindfulness talks, meditations, and discussions over on Rest Less Events which might be interesting to you.
5. Keep yourself occupied
If you’re worried about how you’ll cope with feelings of loneliness on Christmas Day, consider making yourself a to-do list full of fun and indulgent things that you can do by yourself. This could include having a movie marathon, lighting some scented candles, or baking some mince pies.
Nearly all of us have things we’ve wanted to do but haven’t had time for because life is busy. With this in mind, try to see a Christmas spent alone as a chance to tick some of those things off your list. Hopefully, if your mind is focused on the day’s plans, you’ll be less conscious of being by yourself.
If you’re looking for some inspiration, have a read of our articles: 33 self-care ideas to boost your mental and physical health during the winter, 12 Christmas recipes to bring some festive cheer to your kitchen, and 17 books for your winter reading list.
Or, why not check out the Christmas Library on Rest Less Events? Here, we’ve compiled some pre-recorded Christmas content for you to enjoy over the festive period.
6. Hang out with your pet
If you’re lucky enough to have a pet, even if you’ll be missing human company this Christmas, you can try to make the most of your time with your loyal companion. Dogs especially will love your company, and may even thrive off the undivided attention.
So, if it’s just you and your pet this year, why not plan your day with them in mind? New toys and tasty treats make great gifts for pets – and you could even wrap them up (safely, of course) and let your four-legged friend have some fun opening them.
Christmas movies are also great to watch while snuggled up with your pet, and if you have a dog, perhaps the two of you could go out for a walk along a new route – just to make the day a bit more special. And if you really want to treat your dog or cat, PDSA has also published guidance on how to have a pet-safe roast dinner!
Final thoughts…
If you’re reading this article, you might be worried about being alone for Christmas. While these feelings are normal, try to remember that there are many other people in a similar position and that not every Christmas will necessarily be the same. Next year could look quite different.
With this in mind, it can be helpful to try to make the most of this me-time by doing things that make you happy. While relationships with others are important, the most significant relationship we have is with ourselves – so be kind to yourself. Showing yourself some love could be the best present you give yourself this year.
While we hope that at least some of the tips in this article will be helpful, if you do feel particularly low this Christmas and need somewhere to turn, you can contact Samaritans or The Silver Line. Their telephone lines are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week and someone will be able to offer you a listening ear and some kind words.
Are you spending Christmas alone this year? Do you have any plans similar to those in this article? Or perhaps you have some additional ideas of things to do if you’re spending Christmas alone? We’re interested to hear from you in the comment below.